Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A+ | Grade It Now!
Bittersweet Symphony

A bunch of important ballerinas are here to perform a piece from Swan Lake. Did y'all see Black Swan? That was some freaky shit. I think it gave me an eating disorder. Oh shit, y'all. The black swan just came out on stage. Do you think she's having sex with the male dancer in real life? Because that's what I took away from that movie. If you're not having sex with the male dancer in real life, you can't be the black swan. I would imagine every ballet dancer is annoyed by Black Swan because now they get even more dumb questions from their relatives during the holidays. Like me. I would ask dumb questions. Anyway, ballet. It's pretty.

Jennifer Hudson is back to sing "Feeling Good." Seriously, her legs look amazing. Is she still with her baby's father? I wasn't too sure about that dude. But her baby is cute. Don't mind me. I'm just chatting with myself about Jennifer Hudson. I'm going to find out if she's still with her boyfriend. Oh, they're "engaged." That's been going on for a long time. And he's a pro wrestler. Thanks, Google! I still think she could do better, but I'm happy she's still with her baby's dad. As always, she sounds amazing.

More review of last night's shenanigans. Kirstie's shoe came off. I don't know if you heard. But seriously, I can't believe she got her toes back into the front part without breaking the shoe or something. Anyway, it really got her flustered and discouraged, but Maks helped her to laugh about it. Sugar Ray wasn't sure if it was a compliment when Len called him a "sugar plum fairy." I think he's concentrating too much on the fairy part and not seeing the ballet allusion. Louis was PISSED at Kendra after she said she didn't care about elegance. Whoo, girl! Kendra was at least embarrassed about it. But was she embarrassed by what she said or how poorly she danced? Was she on painkillers for cramps or something? She was really weird.

So out of Kendra, Sugar Ray and Kirstie, who is safe? Kirstie is safe, and Maks is psyched. And you know who else is safe? Kendra. I think she didn't even realize they said she was safe for a minute. And she shouldn't be safe. But she is. So Sugar Ray is "in jeopardy." I think he's going home, y'all.

So the three still "in jeopardy," which is meaningless since they are not the bottom three necessarily (or even probably), are Petra, Chelsea and Sugar Ray. And Petra is safe. Really? Are we really supposed to think that Chelsea and Mark might go home? I kind of feel like the producers just did this to eff with Mark. And Sugar Ray is going home.

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Dancing With The Stars




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