Dancing With The Stars
Season 12 Performance 4

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Take Off Your Shoes

Chris and Cheryl have the paso doble this week. Chris promises that Chris Jericho is back this week, and he draws on his wrestling persona to dig up the arrogance and aggression that is needed for this dance. I think that should totally work. Right? And they didn't even have to take a field trip to Knott's Berry Farm to find out. Let's see.

They're dancing to weird music and there are vines hanging down all over the place that I don't understand. The vines keep throwing shadows on Cheryl's face. It picks up with the second half. I think the choreography is fine, and Chris does a great job with it (although he could be even more aggressive with his movements), but the music keeps throwing me. Bruno loved how he hit the accents in the music. Carrie Ann thought it was hard with the music they had, and he powered through and made it work. Len thinks that he started out well, but he didn't increase his gestures when the music increased. I actually agree with that. It worries me that I always agree with Len. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 7, and Bruno 8.

As you may have heard, last week, Maks fell down. So let's move on. Except then Kirstie gets hurt during rehearsals and has to dance through it. But it pisses her off. She says that she doesn't want a grandma dance; she wants the same routine Maks would do for a 25-year-old. I admire that she recognizes that people like Cloris and Florence were doing grandma dances and being praised for it.

It starts out nicely and then I don't know what the fuck happened. I think Kirstie's skirt got caught in her heel? Because Maks spins her around and she ends up sitting on the floor and she's struggling with her shoe. He picks her up but they're clearly out of time and off the routine. Maks gets them back into it sort of but then there's a part where Kirstie is just walking down the floor and they're out of sync again. At the end, they do the same move where Maks fell last week, once on each side, which is Maks's way of saying, "Fuck off if you think she's too heavy. I'll do it twice to prove it wasn't her fault." Good for him. And Kirstie looked lovely throughout the routine. But they messed that shit up big time. Carrie Ann says she's the Queen of the Unexpected Mishap. I guess her shoe came off. Len thought everything was okay, but needed to improve. Bruno thought she did amazingly well and he loves her musicality. Look, Kirstie just wanted to finish, obviously. I hope she gets to come back next week and do a routine where nothing bad happens. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 7, and Bruno 8. Maks is pleasantly surprised by the scores. They show the clip and Kirstie's toes came right out of her shoe and she was trying to shove them back in. Aw, that stinks.

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Dancing With The Stars

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