Dancing With The Stars
Season 12 Performance 5

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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The Patriots

When we get back, Kendra and Louis are both dressed in variations on Uncle Sam. They march in proudly, then do lots more marching. There isn't much fox trot if we're being honest, and Kendra flubs one of the faster rhythm sequences, but it's overall energetic and cute. Will cute cut it? Len compliments Kendra for having fun and doing much better than last week. Bruno says it was "sweet as apple pie" but thinks it's still obvious that Kendra is thinking and not in the moment. Carrie Ann disagrees and compliments herself for inspiring Kendra to fight her way back to the top this week. In the red room, Kendra says she took Carrie Ann's comment so hard because she was on her period. Seriously, she said that. With that... Carrie awards them an 8, Len gives them a 7, and Bruno scores them a 7 for 22 points and a respectable tie for last place.

Chelsea and Mark will round out the night, hoping to stay on top after their magical Harry Potter waltz last week. Chelsea is psyched to dance the samba to Miley Cyrus's "Party in the USA," but the challenging technique gets the best of her early in rehearsals. She hopes to prove that her high scores last week were no accident.

The scenario for their dance is a gas station romance, which I think is about as Cyrus-appropriate as you can get. Chelsea is wearing a spangled vest crop top with low-rider red-and-white striped fringe pants. I think Britney Spears may have worn this very get-up circa Crossroads. The dance is fun and has just enough hooch, but I must admit I'm too busy hating everything that is Miley Cyrus to really be objective. So I'll just pass it over to the judges. Bruno thinks it was the best of both worlds -- the positive energy of America and the sizzle of Brazil. He says it was clean and tight. Carrie Ann thinks the moves were matched perfectly between the partners. Len thinks it was a real party, and not the Tupperware kind. But how did they score? Carrie Ann awards them a 9, Len gives them an 8, and Bruno scores them a 9, earning them 26 points and landing them in a three-way tie for second place.

To recap:


Hines and Kym: 27
Chris and Cheryl: 26
Romeo and Chelsie: 26
Chelsea and Mark: 26
Kirstie and Maks: 23
Ralph and Karina: 22
Petra and Dmitry: 22
Kendra and Louis: 22

Tomorrow's special guest is Toby Keith because it's the American way to put a boot in your ass.

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Dancing With The Stars

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