Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
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Guilty Displeasure

Len says that it was full on and great fun. Bruno loves the zest in Chelsea's moves and he saw only a small bobble. Carrie Ann thinks this routine was magic as well. In their backstage interview, Brooke reveals that Mark twisted his ankle during dress rehearsals and they show the footage. It's pretty nasty. Mark decided to dance anyway. Was it worth it? Carrie Ann 10, Len 9 and Bruno 9. Tied for the top right now.

Kendra actually wore a top hat last week? And I missed it? And she smiled while dancing? And wore too much eyeliner? Okay, I don't care that I missed it. This week, they have the samba, and Louis thinks Kendra was made for this dance. He has to encourage her to let her hair down (literally, she takes her ponytail out) and shake her boobs and butt. This could be scary. Also, her hair looks like a caveman. Like seriously, what is that hair? It looks like she has a mop under her regular hair, and then extensions over that. It's bad. The dance is not great. She can definitely shake it, but it's a little manic-feeling and out of control. I'm not seeing a whole lot of samba in there; that typical samba bounce is missing. She finishes by shaking it on the judges' table, which I always hate, and Bruno waves some cash at her. I would say that's insulting, but she did used to be a stripper.

Carrie Ann thinks this dance was in Kendra's element, but she needs to work a little on her technique. Len thinks the spark started last week turned into a fire. Bruno calls it "Attack of the Killer Boobs" and acts like he wants Kendra to give him a lap dance? I think? And then Tom shows a clip from Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" video featuring a young, scantily-clad Bruno. I think they blurred out Bruno's crotch. Thank you for that, censors. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 9. Kendra looks like she expected a little higher. Or maybe she's already using Botox. She doesn't have a lot of expression in her face.

Hines took over the lead last week. This week, he has "End of the Road" and he confesses to Kym that he likes to sing it in the shower and pretend that the water is his fans. Hines shows how he practices his routines at night in his apartment and uses a pillow to be Kym. Hey, I have that same pillow in a different color scheme. It's from Target. I never said I was fancy. I have two cats, a dog and twins. And I spill things a lot. Anyway, their routine is nice, but not inspiring. Hines is more graceful than I thought he'd be, but he still has pancake hands and the whole thing feels a little bit more rushed than I'd like. There are a few really nice moments though, and he's getting better about inhabiting a character for the routine.

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Dancing With The Stars

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