Dancing With The Stars
Season 13 Performance 2

Episode Report Card
Kim: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Hey Ya!

It's the second week. You know what's kind of refreshing about this season so far? There's no huge frontrunner. Like I could name about five or six people that I think will make it pretty far, but in many seasons, after the first performance, you can pretty much pick who will be in the finals. Brooke and Tom introduce the couples, and they all walk down the stairs. For someone who was fairly light on his feet last week, Chaz looks really awkward coming down the stairs. He looks like a dude who has done too much lifting with his arms and now can't wipe his ass. You know those guys?

And with all these couples, it's time to get right into the dancing. First up with the jive is Hope Solo and her partner Maks. In their roll-in package, Hope explains that she's still playing soccer with the USA women's team in various spots around the country, but also trying to learn her dances. I think she has a legitimate concern when she points out that kicking a soccer ball and doing a kick in the jive look very different, and she has trouble adjusting. You don't want to point your toe when passing a soccer ball, because you'll break it. You want the ball to hit your instep, right? With your foot sideways and flat? And that's exactly what you DON'T want while dancing. Hope demonstrates how she would kick in soccer and it looks really, really awkward. Maks can't stop laughing at her, but he's also concerned that they're going to be eliminated soon and she'll have tons of time to practice soccer then.

So did she get those feet sorted out? Let's watch their jive and find out. Ooh, the beginning is not great. First of all, Hope has on the lowest-cut pants that I've ever seen on the dance floor. Imagine low-cut pants. No, lower. No, LOWER. I hope she has a lot of tape holding those things up. But on to the dancing: there's a lot of messing about in the beginning, which Len will hate, but which hides Hope's kicking problems. And boy, does she has problems. She doesn't flick her feet at all, or point her toe. Like imagine doing a kick with a completely flexed foot, and you've got it. Like last week, she does much better when in hold, but she's not in hold much. And she seems to forget some of the steps, and there's a look of panic on her face at times. I mean, it's not terrible. There's a lot of energy and they're moving really fast, which does disguise some flaws. But it's not great. The studio audience disagrees with me and they get a partial standing ovation. They are on drugs. Judges? Len thought it was crisp and fast-moving, but she lost her timing and her kicks weren't quite in sync with Maks at times. Bruno knows that Hope is powerful, but he wants to see precision and accuracy and she needs more rehearsal. Carrie Ann liked her performance and her attitude, and she wants her to both relax and worry about the details. Those seem like two very different things. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 7 and Bruno 6. When is Len ever the highest scorer? Even with all the messing about? Is Len drunk?

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Dancing With The Stars

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