Dancing With The Stars
Season 13 Performance 8: Results

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
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A Graceful Exit

DanceCenter. It's tough to recap these segments because it's kind of joke-joke-joke that is hard to translate to the written word. Here are some of my favorite parts though. Kenny says that Derek is a lot like Mark Ballas except blond and not nearly as creepy. And then they cut together a segment to make it look like Ricki only talks about losing weight and having sex, which might not be entirely inaccurate. Then they make a joke that JR might be gay because he loves musical theatre. Come on, show. That's beneath you. Kenny keeps saying that JR is a hero and I guess they had to go to the gay joke because there is nothing bad you can say about the guy. Kenny says that Rob has lasted longer on the show than Kim's marriage. I wondered when they would go there. They also make fun of Rob talking all the time about how he went to USC. Glad someone finally noticed that.

Brooke is backstage with Ricki and Derek and Nancy and Tristan. Ricky says she's grateful to still be there and wants to continue. Derek lightens things up by joking about the sexy DanceCenter segment. Nancy was happy with her tango, if not her jive. Wow, that was a useful segment.

Andre Bocelli is on hand to perform. The troupe comes out and dances. Seriously, the one really tall guy is terrible. He's always out of sync and he's just not a great dancer. Why is he on the show again?

More DanceCenter. They show some of Nancy's "cheerleading" skills. Was she a cheerleader in 1978? That is the oldest cheer ever. It sounds like a disco song turned into a cheer. They show footage of Hope's nude photo shoot for ESPN: The Magazine and then Len does a parody of it. No, thank you. Then they address when Maks said it's his show, and show the credits from that night, where they have changed everything to say that Maks was the producer, the host, etc. It's kind of funny. I enjoyed this season's segment more than the past few seasons. But I feel like they really used to go for the jugular, roast-style, and they don't anymore.

It's a Cirque du Soleil Michael Jackson dance tribute! Cirque du Soleil kind of creeps me out. How sad is Mark Ballas that he doesn't get to dance in this tribute? It's so his thing. He could wear his spats and his guyliner and get down. I do always enjoy seeing people dance like Michael Jackson, though. This is making me want to watch This Is It more than anything. Because these dancers are good, but they are not Michael. There was only one, and say what you will about his personal life, he was an amazing dancer.

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Dancing With The Stars

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