Judges? Len thought it needed more hip action and less flinging arms, but he appreciated that it was difficult. Bruno pretty much agrees. Carrie Ann thinks she has great potential, but her nerves or something caused her shoulders to be really high, and she needs to loosen up. She should do a shot before the show with Maria. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 6, and Bruno 7. That's more than fair.

Next up is the guy known as the Mexican Brad Pitt, William Levy. He's not well known here in the United States, but he is a rock star in Mexico, apparently. I've NEVER heard of this guy, but he is HOT. And his partner is Cheryl. When they met, they were already a week behind. AS they start rehearsing, William realizes that it's a lot of work, and he's not ready for it.

They have the cha cha. And there is a LOT of grinding in this dance. Cheryl's no dummy. She knows what the people want. As far as the actual dance, it's fine. It's not great. He does a lot of standing around while Cheryl dances. But the audience LOVES him. They are screaming and hooting and hollering. I think the judges will get death threats if they criticize him.

Judges? Bruno stands up and yells that he's the "hottest package of the season" and needs to wear less clothing next week. Carrie Ann notes that he can dance and he partnered Cheryl well and moved well. Len thinks he captured the spirit of the cha cha. I seriously think the judges were scared to say anything negative. I would be! Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. I feel like everyone but me watched a different dance.

Martina Navratilova is a tennis legend. Obviously, I know who she is, but I don't know much about her beyond tennis and she's a lesbian. And I expect her to be a little stiff. Her partner is Tony. When they meet, Martina confesses that she's scared of high heels and she hasn't worn a dress in twenty years. And she's insecure about trying to be feminine. Aw, I'm rooting for her.

They have the foxtrot. Martina looks fucking terrified. She can't stop looking at Tony to make sure she's doing the right thing. And while she's definitely stiff, she's not ungraceful at times. She's not going to win this thing, but it's not hard to watch her, at all. And man, is she glammed up.

Judges? Carrie Ann says that she was beautiful, and elegant, and refined, but she needs to work on her turns. Len thought it was close, but not quiet there, because it was a little too careful and she needs to attack the dance. Len's right. So we'll see how she does with the jive. Bruno tells her that she's stunning, although I'm a little uncomfortable with the "never looked better" which kind of implies that she can only be beautiful if she basically dresses in drag. But gender politics aside, Bruno says that she needs to extend her moves through her arms. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 6, and Bruno 7. That might be generous.