Dancing With The Stars
Season 14 Performance 2: Results

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
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Game, Set, Match

So are Maria, Sherri, and Katherine safe? Yes, of course they are. Were you really worried? Sherri goes off and does a Tina strut and her boobs are still all over the place. Seriously. Strap those things down. You're going to get a black eye. Also, Katherine gives Maria a bear hug and probably breaks another rib. Oops.

Sugarland is back without Matt Nathanson to sing another song. I don't think I like Sugarland that much. The singer is super nasally and kind of whiny? And the three ladies from the troupe come out to dance with one of the guys. Were the other guys too tired?

And... more reviews of last night's dancing. First up is Jack, who got some additional advice from Bruno about performing. Donald strives to make Len happy, and he does. Gavin had to be seriously talked through his routine by Karina. Didn't he say he got extra rehearsal time this week? They might be in trouble.

So, Donald, Jack, and Gavin: safe or in jeopardy? Donald and Jack are safe, and Gavin is in jeopardy.

Have I mentioned how stupid the live Tweets on the screen are? You know they are heavily screened, so they're always just going to be like, "I love Martina!" or "Sherri is hilarious!" What's the point? I have Twitter. I have a variety of mobile devices. I can go on them during the show to see what people are saying if I want to. Dumb.

We're down to the three still in jeopardy, who are not necessarily the bottom three: Martina and Tony, Roshon and Chelsie, and Gavin and Karina. Well, to the surprise of no one, Roshon and Chelsie are safe. We get a quick interview in which Martina says that she hopes there will be a next week for her. Tom asks Gavin what he would do differently if he could, and he says he'd improve enough to get five more points.

And finally, who's going home? Martina and Tony. They knew it. Martina immediately apologizes to Tony. Gavin hugs her and says that it was an honor to be on the stage with her, which is nice. I wish she would rip his hat off. Martina says in her exit interview that she blew it last night, and she is sad to go home, but she hopes to come back in the finale and try again. Aw, Martina. I am sad to see you go, but I kept typing your name as Martian and then having to go back and fix it, so at least I have that to avoid in the future. Next week is story week, which I hate, but at least we're getting it out of the way early.

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Dancing With The Stars

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