Dancing With The Stars
Season 14 Performance 7: Results

Episode Report Card
Kim: A- | Grade It Now!
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The Urkel Dance

Oh, Results Show. How I love recapping you, what with your extended filler segments that allow me to go off on wild tangents that have nothing whatsoever to do with this show, but do allow me to amuse myself and hopefully at least three of you. And it's on!

Len announces that the encore is obviously Derek and Maria, since they got the first perfect score of the season. I'm going to watch this again and try to enjoy it more. Hey, they changed the ending! Derek "won" this time. I think my issue with that routine was that I tend to watch the star and not the pro while they are dancing, because it's easy to be distracted by the pro. And Derek did most of the dancing in that routine, while Maria just stood there or was flung around. Derek did a great job, obviously. But I was watching Maria. And I still don't think it deserved a perfect score.

Review time! Katherine would have been more comfortable in the orchestra than on the dance floor, but she was really happy with her performance. Donald was thrilled to get a standing ovation. Before his routine, William waved to the little girl who would sing for them. Aw, that's cute. William looks exhausted. He has some serious bags under his eyes.

So out of Donald, William, and Katherine, who is safe? I'm going to guess that all three are safe. And I was right, although they made Katherine and Mark wait for it, and Katherine looked like she was about to vomit.

Inspirational story time! A dancer had a ruptured brain aneurysm. I'm a little sensitive to this because my mom died from a ruptured brain aneurysm seven years ago. Like, she was totally healthy and fine and active and the next day, she collapsed and went into a coma and the next day she was dead. Sorry for bringing down the room. Thanks, show. Now I'm bummed out. Anyway, this guy didn't die! So that's great. And he's apparently making a miraculous recovery and he's going to dance tonight for the first time in public. He's dancing with his former troupe, and they are pretty awesome. He only comes out at the end and does a short bit of the routine, and he's just sobbing afterwards, as is his wife. The crowd chants his name. Okay, I'm just going to put these soft and mushy feelings behind me and move forward, because Gavin DeGraw and his hats will be back soon, and I need to get my snark on.

Brooke is backstage with the couples waiting to hear about their results. Maria is having foot pain, but she denies any problems and Derek says that after what they saw in the last dance, it put things in perspective. Roshon says something that's nonsense and boring. Melissa says she hopes her fans continued to pull through for her. Jaleel says that he uses comfort eating to work through his pain, and says he ate cheesecake like a divorced mother of three. Melissa says, "Like me?" Ooh, I don't think Jaleel thought that joke through.

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Dancing With The Stars

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