Dancing With The Stars
Season 14 Performance 7: Results

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The Urkel Dance

Gavin DeGraw is back and he's wearing a hat! And singing a song! Can't they bring Gladys back to sing instead? Louis and Karina are on hand to dance, and they are awesome. I love to see them dance together.

Tom tells me that I've been watching the Ballroom Battle competition online. I have? Was I doing it in my sleep? I think this was supposed to be a spinoff of the show, and then it was really boring and no one cared, so they converted it to an online deal. Anyway, each pro chose an amateur couple to coach and then they had a bracket-style tournament. The final three couples are coached by Cheryl, Louis, and Tony. They will be dancing a jive relay and the judges will decide the winner. I think I liked Louis's team best. The others seemed to just do a basic jive, albeit very well, but Louis's team's routine was a little more creative and interesting to watch. After they dance, the judges have to confer and they take too long and Tom has to rush them. And then Len says that the third-place team is Louis's team. What? I think Len screwed up because Carrie Ann and Bruno are like, "WTF?" And then Len announces that the winners are Cheryl's team. As they walk down to talk to Tom, Carrie Ann and Bruno are giving Len an earful. I think Len screwed that up. I'm sure the judges will never reveal what was supposed to happen. Did Len get confused, or did he just go rogue?

More results and review of last night. Maria and Derek were shocked by their perfect score and top standings. Roshon was a little worried that he'd have to be in the dance duel again, but said he'd give it his all. Jaleel was hoping for higher scores, but accepted what he got. Melissa was disappointed with her scores, but watching the dance again, it was really bad and Melissa had some serious camel toe. I don't know if that contributed to her bad dancing, but it was very noticeable.

So out of these four, which two will be in the dance duel? Not Maria and Derek, that's for sure. But Roshon and Chelsie will be in the dance duel. Melissa and Maks are safe. Whoa! That means Jaleel and Kym are joining the dance duel.

Clip package of the bottom two rehearsing. Jaleel and Kym seemed to do well; Roshon and Chelsie argued and things looked bleak. The duel happens after the break. Since I don't really give a shit which of these two couples go home, I'm not too stressed out about it.

I already talked a lot of shit in last week's weecap about why I hate the dance duel, so I won't repeat it all here. But just know that I still think it's a terrible idea. I guess the idea is that in a case where someone like Sabrina Bryan was in the bottom two, she could have saved herself and stayed. But do we really care? I mean, it's not like this is scientific in the best of times. I still have a hard time watching both couples, but I kind of think Roshon did a better job. At least he seemed to do more dancing, while Jaleel kind of just walked around.

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Dancing With The Stars

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