Dancing With The Stars
Season 14 Performance 7

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
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Bad Romance

Judges? Len thought it was fine, but just mediocre. Bruno thought it wasn't executed as well as it could've been, and he was throwing his arms around. Carrie Ann doesn't want Jaleel to lose his confidence, because he's still back in the game. She wants him to watch his arms and hands. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8 and Bruno 8. That's fair.

The teams need some time to recover and chance into costume for their team dances, so first we get another performance from the lovely little girl with the creepy voice. And, fast forward. Oh, wait, Tristan and Karina just came out to dance. Even that is not enough to get me to keep watching.

Team Dance! How were the teams chosen? Let's watch a clip package to inform us! I hope that whenever you read a sentence I write that begins with the word "Let's," you understand that I am using deepest sarcasm. Imagine Judd Nelson doing his impression of Anthony Michael Hall's parents in The Breakfast Club: "That's okay, son! You can do it on the boat!" Anyway, William and Katherine are team captains. Katherine chooses Maria and Derek and then Jaleel and Kym, and then Roshon and Chelsie. William chooses Donald and Peta, then Maks and Melissa. Shouldn't they have saved team dances for a week with an even number?

Anyway, Katherine's team has the tango. First, the pros dance together to brainstorm the routine, and then they teach the routine to their partners. Mark and Derek are psyched to switch partners for a few minutes. Um, I bet Katherine and Maria are even more psyched, jerks. Katherine complains that she doesn't even know the tango basics because they haven't done it yet as an individual routine while others have, and Mark says she's being a drama queen. Everyone is cursing and feeling worried about their routine. Oh, will they pull it together? (Again, sarcasm.)

They start out in unison and it looks pretty good. Derek and Maria take the first solo turn and it's...not good. It just looks really awkward. I don't know if Maria doesn't know the routine or what. Jaleel and Kym are also not good; they look like they're fighting each other instead of dancing together. Mark and Katherine are incredible and you know it pains me to admit that. Roshon and Chelsie are also pretty great, although his feet are still a problem. They finish with the patented Ballas/Hough kicking down the floor in unison, although it doesn't quite have the impact it usually does. The ending is good. I've seen better team dances, though.

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Dancing With The Stars

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