Dancing With The Stars
Season 14 Performance 9: Results

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
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End of the World

Last night, I took some happy pills and actually enjoyed some of the dances. Maybe it's just that we're so close to the finals and I see the light at the end of the tunnel. And also I don't hate anyone who's left (except Mark) (who I will always hate) (and his spats) (I hate those too).

You guys. What the hot fudge sundae is Brooke wearing? It's this beige dress with a rectangular window cut out in the front to show off her cleavage and then spangled suspenders going over the shoulders? It's like Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Boobs Club Band or something. Does she own a mirror? Is it just when your face is pretty and you have big boobs, you just wear whatever?

Tonight's encore is William and Cheryl's samba. Okay, I'm going to be open-minded about this. Well, the man can shake his tush, that's for sure. And he totally full-on grabbed Cheryl's boob at one point. But there's still something about his dancing that doesn't seem QUITE right. It's good. He's got hip action. His feet seem fine. I just can't pinpoint what doesn't look right to my eye.

Remember last night when Katherine and Mark did a great quickstep and Carrie Ann went crazy and said it might be the best dance she's ever seen on the show? Then she did a salsa that I found really unfortunate, even before the ending where they fell and Katherine did something to her back that seemed really painful. In the confessional afterwards, Katherine said that she felt like the end of the salsa was the end of their time on the show. Well, we're going to find out right now if they're safe or in jeopardy. Katherine looks in a lot better shape physically tonight, although she's obviously terrifically nervous. And then Tom tells them that they're safe and going to the finals. Katherine is obviously feeling better because she jumps around like a crazy person when she hears the news. Wow, they really expected to go home. They did get the lowest judges' scores. Aw, that means someone else is going home. I hope it's not Donald.

Clip package where the pros talk about their competition and how great everyone is this season. Peta thinks Maria has shown the most improvement, despite her injuries. Mark thinks William's technique is his weakness, but Cheryl thinks his passion and emotion will help him connect to the audience. Everyone thinks Katherine has beautiful and graceful movements, but Mark thinks she might psych herself out. Cheryl points out that athletes like Donald do well in the competition because they know when to peak, although Peta thinks that he's used to being stiff and not lyrical, and it's a challenge.

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Dancing With The Stars

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