Why did Kirstie return? No, seriously, why did she? Kirstie has always wanted to be a dancer, and she's excited to have the opportunity again. Ugh, that hair. I can't even. Maks gives a really sincere speech (where he reads notes off his hand) and I guess it's his idea of funny but I'm so done with him. And her. Blech.

Suddenly, Tristan and Chelsie are dancing and then Anna and Louis are dancing and did this come out of nowhere or is it just me? I guess this is the opening of the second hour. Then I think the troupe is back. And then Tony and Karina and Maks and Peta and Val and Cheryl are doing a paso doble. And then the rest of the pros come out and do more of a hip hop style dance. By the end, I figured out that was a big pro number but it got no introduction and seemed to come out of nowhere. But at least we finally saw some dancing. And they're acknowledging that the first hour was a waste of time and you could just tune in now and it would be a normal results show.

Finally, some results! Joey and Kym had to go first and Joey was nervous and contemplating a bunch of different bodily functions. Karina was thrilled with how Apolo did, and she was impressed that Carrie Ann thought Apolo was sexy even with his pink suspenders. Mark's comments to Bristol during their routine were all about how hard she needed to shake it. Derek made some more short comments to Shawn right before she went on and I'm glad that she's obviously so over that bullshit and lets him know it. So in this group, who is safe and who's in jeopardy? Joey, Shawn, and Apolo are all safe. Bristol is in jeopardy.

Pitbull is here to do his Pitbull thing. You know. He's wearing tight black pants and sunglasses and yelling into a microphone. If you've seen him live once, you've seen him a million times. Halfway through the song, some giant light-up robot on stilts comes out on stage and starts shooting steam guns? I swear I didn't just hallucinate that. This routine is probably a lot of fun if you are in the studio, but here at home, I'm just waiting for more results.

Hey, more interviews. That's what everyone at home is dying to see. I did get a chuckle because while Helio is being interviewed, you can see Peta behind him checking her phone. Heh. Here's what I learned from those interviews: everyone is nervous.