Dancing With The Stars
Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | 130 USERS: C
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The Last Five Minutes

More results, finally! Helio screwed up his routine but still got pretty good scores for some reason. Joey and Drew made an agreement to get to the top three together and then decide who would win. Is this Survivor? I'm predicting a bromance storyline for those two, with a boy band twist. Anyway, Drew totally screwed up his footwork and the judges didn't mention it, so he was psyched. And then he high fived Anna really hard and she looked genuinely pissed. How about Kelly? She was cursing up a storm backstage and that made me like her more. And then she and Val did a hand clapping game while looking at the camera instead of each other and I was actually impressed. That shit is hard. Anyway, what are the results for this group? Helio and Kelly are safe and Drew and Anna are in jeopardy. Wow, really? Then again, they haven't said this was the bottom three or whatever yet. This could all be a ploy to remind us to vote for our favorites.

What would it feel like to be the first one eliminated, according to the stars? Well, it's even harder this time around, and the expectations are higher. And anyone could go home. So I've learned nothing. You?

Hey, my other least favorite part of the results show: the troupe. So they do a routine.

Brooke interviews more people backstage. They're trying really hard. The problem with having people who've been on the show before is that they have all their soundbites prepared and ready to go, and thus their interviews are really, really boring. I don't love Kristie but at least there's always a possibility that she'll say something outrageous or unscripted.

More results. Emmitt fanned his head backstage before his dance and I empathized with him, because I am always hot. Gilles was doing an interview while Peta totally adjusted her boobs behind him and he had no clue. I don't think Gilles and Peta have the chemistry that Gilles had with Cheryl and I'm a little worried. Sabrina was overly excited and overdanced a bit, but Louis talked her down afterwards. So which are these three are safe? Tom says that Emmitt and Cheryl and Gilles and Peta are "all safe!" They hear "all" and think that means Louis and Sabrina are safe too. Oops. And then Sabrina and Louis are safe too. Brooke says, "That was terrible" and someone on stage curses and what just happened? Well, at least it got my attention.

Dancing With The Stars

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