Dancing With The Stars
Season 15 Performance 1: Results

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
The Last Five Minutes

Drew wanted to come back because the show was fun, and no one can take away his previous win. He just wanted the challenge. Tom asks Drew if the show has changed much since the second season. Drew says that some things have changed, like the ballroom, but you still just have to learn and execute the dance. Tom reminds us that Drew's partner Anna was his competitor in the second season and now they are partners, and Drew says as long as he does what Anna says, things are fine.

Apolo loves competition, and he plans to train for his just like he trained for the Olympics. Tom asks Apolo if he's as serious as he seemed in that clip package, and Karina laughs and says no. The end.

Another group! Because this is so thrilling and interesting. Don't most people tune into this show to see dancing? Because we've seen very little dancing so far tonight. Anyway, this group is Emmitt, Melissa, Helio, and Gilles. Let's find out why Helio returned. He claims it was so that his daughter could see him dance, and because it's fun. Tom says that Helio got a standing ovation before he even started dancing. He did? Why? Anyway, here's a clip of Chelsie looking really dumb because she didn't understand why Helio, a Brazilian, spoke Portugese, and then was shocked to find out that South Americans don't all speak Spanish. Oh, she probably didn't finish high school, right? It's a good thing she's pretty.

Melissa wanted to return because she loved being on the show, and she wants to prove that she can still dance now that she's a wife and mother. Tom tells Melissa that she doesn't even look like she had a baby, and I'm not even going to get into how dumb that is, but thank God some celebrities are starting to stand up and protest the media making women feel like they need to lose the baby weight on some crazy schedule, which isn't healthy for moms or dads or babies. And I'm sure Melissa worked hard and good for her, but I hope she did it because she wanted to feel healthy and not because anyone else expected her to look a certain way. Oh, I guess I am going to get into it. Then Tony says that he feels like he let Melissa down before, and he wants to make it up to her.

I know you're dying to find out why Gilles came back. He says it's the American dream. Look, he's foreign. And hot. I'm going to give him a pass. Gilles says that being on the show allowed him to be a working actor, and now he's on the show Switched at Birth. Tom teases Gilles that he's not a dancer, and he says it a lot. So then we get a clip package of Gilles saying a million times that he's not a dancer.

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Dancing With The Stars




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