Dancing With The Stars
Season 15, Performance 1

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Not Quite All Stars

The next returnee is Shawn Johnson, who won Season 8 with Mark. Now she's paired with Derek. It would have been a lot better to give her, like, Val. Although I guess she needs someone short, and Val and Maks are both taller. Shawn admits that she feels bad that she's not with Mark, but she's happy to be with Derek. It will be interesting to see what Derek can bring out of her.

Derek and Shawn have the foxtrot and after watching it, I seriously have no critiques. Her form was great, and maybe it's because she's older and her body has changed, but Shawn seems much more graceful than I remember. Let's see what the judges thought. Bruno calls her "a floor scorcher" and says that her routine had a ton of content. Carrie Ann says that it was fabulous, and she loved everything about it. Len thought she danced well, but he didn't think it felt or looked like a foxtrot, so he was disappointed. However, he thinks Shawn is a good dancer. I've said this a million times but I hate with the star gets blamed for things the pro did wrong. I guess in this season, they might have a bit more culpability; presumably Shawn knows what a foxtrot is at this point. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 6.5, Bruno 7.5. Okay. I understand that they have to start low to leave room for improvement, but I don't get how that could have been better, and I wish the judges had told me. Carrie Ann gushed over it and then gave it an 8? WTF?

Next up is a person I forgot existed, Sabrina Bryant. I don't know what she's been up to since she had a shocking elimination, but it wasn't breast reduction surgery, because her boobs are HUUUUUUUUGE! Anyway, since she briefly dated Mark, they couldn't be paired again, so she's with Louis. She also got voted in by the viewers. Why? Who was dying to see her again?

Anyway, she and Louis have the cha cha. Well, her routine is fast and spunky. My only criticism would be that at times it felt out of control instead of sharp. She needs to work on placement. Judges? Carrie Ann thinks she's got a fire lit under her butt, but she overdanced a bit and it threw her off balance. Exactly. Len thought it was clean and precise, but she needs a little finesse. Bruno also thought she missed a few passes because she was going for it so hard. All of the judges are so happy to see Sabrina again. Scores: Carrie Ann 7.5, Len 7.5, and Bruno 7.5. See, I didn't think it was better than Shawn's routine, and the judges didn't tell me why they thought so. Boo.

Ugh, Helio. He's partnered with Chelsie, since she's short and the closest they have to Julianne. Can you believe he won? That is some bullshit. Well, let's hope he's fodder for early elimination. He and Chelsie have the foxtrot. Okay, after seeing their routine, I can see why Len was hard on Derek; this is much more of a traditional foxtrot. Helio looks pretty good, although he seems a bit off-balance at times and I suspect Chelsie was dragging him around the floor more than he was leading. He wasn't as bad as I remembered though. I think this was a good routine for him though; he might struggle with the Latin dances.

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Dancing With The Stars

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