Dancing With The Stars
Season 15, Performance 1

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Not Quite All Stars

Gah, Kirstie and Maks. These two could just fall in a hole as far as I'm concerned. I'm still grossed out by Kirstie's terrible horsehair extensions and I don't know why she doesn't put her goddamned hair up in rehearsals. They're always in her mouth or stuck to her face. Anyway, they have the foxtrot. Kirstie has exactly the same strengths and weaknesses she had during her first time around: she's really graceful and quick on her feet, but she's got zero flexibility, so she can't bend her back as she should.

Judges? Carrie Ann loves how Kirstie feels the music and tells a story, but she needed to turn it up just a bit. Len tells Kirstie to lift up her rib cage and be more refined. Bruno loves how Kirstie emotes, but she does need to work on the technique. And then Kirstie gives Tom a full-on kiss on the lips. Whoa! Kirstie, he is a married man! Wow, she is so "outrageous." Spare me. Scores: Carrie Ann 6.5, Len 6, and Bruno 6.5. Those were fair. Maks was just steering her around the floor like furniture.

Emmitt and Cheryl are the final couple to dance. I'm not sure I ever thought Emmitt had great technique, despite the fact that he won his season. Latin is his strength though, because the man can groove. And he sparkles. I'm looking forward to see how he does in his cha cha. His feet are as fast as ever, and he's got good hip action, but Emmitt's a little older and a little thicker in the middle now (aren't we all?) and it shows in his dancing. He's good, but he's got to work to be as good as his competition.

Judges? Len thinks you can't teach flair, and Emmitt has it, and it was the best dance of the evening. Eh, Gilles and some of the ladies were better. Bruno thought it was fun and enjoyable. Carrie Ann thinks Emmitt was born to dance and Twinkle Toes is back. Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8.5, and Bruno 8. Whaaat? I like Emmitt a lot, and that was a joy to watch, but that's a lot of points.

Someone will be eliminated tomorrow night. I hope it's Kirstie or Bristol and not Pamela. I think that's the best Bristol will ever be, and I think Pamela will improve. I'll predict a final of Gilles, Emmitt, and probably Sabrina? It's tough to say, though. Fanbases can surprise you. We'll find out something tomorrow night. Here's your leaderboard.

Emmitt and Cheryl: 24.5

Gilles and Peta: 24

Sabrina and Louis: 22.5

Apolo and Karina: 22

Shawn and Derek: 22

Helio and Chelsie: 21.5

Drew and Anna: 21.5

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Dancing With The Stars

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