Shawn, Bristol (!), and Kirstie (!) are safe. Kelly is in jeopardy. Man, that is some bullshit. I guess I need to start voting if I'm going to care.

Katherine Jenkins is back to sing with Placido Domingo. Val and Anna are out to dance while they sing. I always wonder how they decide which pros get to dance during the performances. This one seemed particularly random.

More results. Helio didn't understand what in the heck Carrie Ann told him during judging. Don't worry, dude. No one did. Melissa was freaked out and Tony couldn't believe that Carrie Ann compliments his choreography. Gilles couldn't say the word cleavage, even though he was displaying a LOT of it. Karina was squeaking with excitement over how well Apolo dances. Man, this is a powerhouse group. Are they all safe? Well, Melissa, Gilles, and Apolo are safe. Helio and Chelsie are in jeopardy.

The final results are about to be revealed, and the three couples in jeopardy are Joey and Kym, Kelly and Val, and Helio and Chelsie. But Kelly and Val are safe! So that means that Joey and Kym and Helio and Chelsie are the for real bottom two. Tom has time to talk to each couple. He asks Helio if he would do anything different if he could, and Helio says that they did everything they could. Joey says that "what's great about me" is that he always has fun. Well, I'm glad Joey knows what's great about himself. That was a weird way to answer. Anyway, who's going home? Joey and Kym. Eh. Joey was never going to dance as well as a Gilles or an Apolo or an Emmitt. Or a Drew.

Joey laughs that he's going to a wedding tomorrow so he doesn't care, and he doesn't think he let Kym down. I still suspect their song choice had something to do with it. Man, the double elimination next week had better include Bristol or I will start a one-woman riot.