Dancing With The Stars
Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 121 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Donkey Show

Bristol and Mark had a dramatic week. Sigh. Who cares? Anyway, when Bristol and Mark come in to rehearsal after escaping elimination last week, you'd think they'd be jubilant, right? They had the lowest scores, and they made it through anyway! Instead, Bristol is all silent and passive-aggressive, and she tells Mark that she knows he'd bummed that he got stuck with her instead of Sabrina or Shawn again. Mark wonders what he did to give her that impression, and she can't answer, because he didn't. I've said a lot of shit about Mark, but he's never been anything but great to his shitty partners. He's always stuck up for Bristol, on the show and in the press. Apparently, Mark missed a rehearsal, and that made Bristol think that he's not invested in this season and their partnership. She could be onto something, but it could also be completely unrelated. Anyway, watching them fight is like watching that couple in your high school who didn't belong together and were terrible for one another and yet couldn't stay apart. It ends with Bristol gets up and walks out silently as Mark asks her to "not be like that." Yuck.

I had to Google what in the fuck Bristol and Mark were inspired by because the show decided not to tell me, and it was Derek and Joanna's futuristic paso doble. Except there's nothing futuristic about their dance; they are dressed as a prince and princess, I guess, and dancing on a giant chess board? I mean, it's a decent paso doble, especially for Bristol, but it's boring. The only thing interesting about seeing her dance now is waiting for her to fuck up. And she really doesn't in this routine, so that's something?

Judges? Len thinks their fight actually helped Bristol get the needed passion for this routine, and he thought it was her best yet. Bruno thought her lines were better than ever, and he loved the concept. Carrie Ann thinks Bristol is proving herself every week, and the only thing she needs to work on are her facial expressions. Tom tells the dancers again that they get to pick dances for one another and some look shocked, some look worried, and some look psyched. Scores: Carrie Ann 7.5, Len 7.5, and Bruno 7.5. I'm glad they didn't go overboard.

The final couple is Shawn and Derek. They are inspired by Helio's quickstep with Julianne. Shawn wants to bring in trampolines. They make the decision to break rules, and hope that the entertainment value of their routine makes up for it.

Dancing With The Stars

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