Based on what we saw last night, tonight we will have the other four individual dances, and the other team dance. So when do we get the results? Will there be another set of scores next Monday and then regular results on Tuesday? That's effed up. If you can't tell, I like to know the rules of the game ahead of time.
Tonight's first dance will be performed by Melissa and Tony. Hey, you know what I just realized about the format this week? I don't have to pretend to care about any live performances by musicians or troupe bullshit. So there's that. Melissa's guilty pleasure is "Toxic" by Britney Spears, which Tony is pleased to mention is a tango. Except Melissa's never done a tango, and she has a hard time with the frame and keeping her head up and back. She gets so frustrated that she starts crying in rehearsals. And this is before her big neck injury. Their routine is good but not electrifying. Her frame is a little weird, but that could be due to her neck injury. It's a very unnatural head position under the best of circumstances; with her injury, it's got to be tough. Her legs look great though, and in the second half of the routine, Tony put in a lot of opportunities for her to show them off. I can never remember the difference between the tango and the Argentine tango anyway.
Judges? Len thought it was crisp and sharp, and while she could have snapped her head a little more, he understands that she was injured. Tom makes a sarcastic comment and Len tells him to keep his comments to himself. Bruno thought she was sexy but agrees with Len about her lines. Carrie Ann thinks Melissa has broken out of her All-American Sweetheart role, although she also agrees with the men about Melissa's lines. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 9, and Bruno 9. That's fair, although Tony looks surprised and happy.
Shawn's guilty pleasure is "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion. I don't really believe in guilty pleasures; if you like something, why feel guilty about it? But even if I did believe in it, how is this song a guilty pleasure? It was a blockbuster hit. Obviously, a lot of people liked it. Anyway, Shawn and Derek have the rumba and Shawn has a lot of trouble letting herself show the emotion needed for the dance. She has a good point; she's been trained her entire life to avoid showing any emotion or letting anyone see her pain or fear, so it's tough to throw that all away. So for their routine, they kind of re-enact Titanic, which might not be the most creative decision, but it's incredibly effective. They're dancing on a black platform with dry ice all over to look like the water. At one point, Shawn tries to leap "overboard" and Derek catches her, and at the end, Derek rolls off the platform into the "water" and completely disappears. I thought Shawn did a great job with the emotion of the dance; it wasn't as sexy as some rumbas in the past, but it was romantic, definitely, and she didn't sacrifice technique to show that emotion. Great job. The audience goes apeshit.