Paula Abdul had four number one hits. Not one. Not two. FOUR. Anyway, she's going to choreograph and perform (I guess?) those four songs with a dance troupe. Boy, that was an inspired fever dream of lunacy, which I guess describes Paula Abdul's career. Also, Paula didn't so much dance as she did walk around in time to the music, but I guess she's earned it? It was bizarre, though.
Time for Derek's pet project. When does he even have time to work with another dance troupe? Anyway, he'll be doing a contemporary dance, and he admits that he has no training in that style. Well, that routine was...the most self-indulgent piece of business I've ever seen on this show. I mean, it was interesting and visually arresting. But it featured a shirtless Derek dancing with four female dancers, and they ended up in the water and Derek got soaked in the "rain." I mean, love yourself much? Ridiculous.
So we know that either Kelly or Emmitt is going through to the finals, but we don't know which one yet. So let's end the suspense and find out. And Emmitt and Cheryl are going home. I'm a little surprised, but I think people were going against the judges, who just wouldn't give Kelly and Val a 10, even though they deserved it for that second rumba.
In his exit interview, Emmitt thanks everyone. Tom says that the show is losing a good chunk of charisma and Brooke says that it feels like a finals. It really does.
So America, your finalists are Shawn and Derek, Melissa and Tony, and Kelly and Val. I don't know that Kelly deserved to make the finals, but there she is. She and Val really seemed to feel like they were going home last week, so maybe they've run out of fucks to give and will dance their little hearts out. Who knows? Join me next week to find out.