We're finally here! The final results show. We open with a quick trip down Memory Lane (and even I, who has watched every season of this show, totally forgot that there was a different host with Tom in the first season), showing every contestant in their original season. Wow, remember when Pamela Anderson was on this season? Anyway, the three ladies will have one more performance tonight and then it's all over but the awarding of the Mirror Ball.
We open with a huge super dance number featuring all of this season's contestants, which only proves to me that Sabrina totally got robbed. She was more interesting in her three minutes on the floor than someone like Melissa has been all season. Sorry, but it's true. I can't imagine how tough that number was to choreograph; presumably they didn't have much time to rehearse and people were dancing in one spot and then popping up in another spot and there were a ton of people to keep track of, and it was great. Very watchable.
Let's look back at last night. Kelly was disappointed to have one slipped handhold keep her from getting a perfect score, and Val gave her props for doing aerial work twenty feet above the floor without a harness. Tony seems more excited about his own performance than their performance as a couple. I get that he's waited for this for a long time, but let's remember that you have a partner, dude. I still didn't like their freestyle. The judges were disappointed that Shawn and Derek broke the rules in their encore, but they made up for it in their freestyle and then some.
Oh, we're doing an encore tonight? I guess so. Len wants to see Shawn and Derek again. You know, I don't think I gave Derek enough credit for his gymnastic ability and flexibility in that routine. I was watching Shawn, but Derek was doing some amazing stuff in his own right. I also totally missed the Fierce Five doing aerial work in giant rings in the back of the stage during half of the routine.
DanceCenter. Here are the parts that actually made me laugh. Kenny said that Maks was totally in love with himself, as we saw footage of Maks rubbing his hands all over his own body. Kenny also said sarcastically that Mark Ballas is just there to make his partners look good while we see footage of Mark beating his chest and generally going on a 'roid rage. Wow. I mean, I totally agree but I'm happy to see this segment get some edge back. It's been way too mild lately.
Each couple will now choose randomly to find out what Insta-dance they will be doing. Val and Kelly get "cat and mouse jive." Ugh, we're doing that theme thing again? Boo. Melissa and Tony get "Life Is a Highway samba," which is the dance they did last night. So that means that Shawn and Derek get "Respect cha cha." Oh, I guess the first part is the name of the song? What is "Cat and Mouse"? I guess we'll find out soon.