Dancing With The Stars
Season 16 Performance 2

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | 1 USERS: B
Poker Face

Wynonna and Tony have the quickstep this week, which should be interesting, since she's not exactly quick and she's out of shape. At least it's not the jive, I guess? Tony's conceit for the dance is that they're mall cops who get bored and start dancing. Because that's a fantasy that people have? Anyway, their dance is awful. It's slow and Wynonna is wearing sneakers instead of heels, and Tony moves her around the floor like he's pushing a piano made out of glass. She's not doing any actual dancing; she's just moving through the steps and counting in her head. If she stays, Tony needs to figure out a way to get her to come out of her shell, quit counting, and just move to the music.

Judges? Bruno makes a joke about her boobs and Tony's fake moustache before saying that it started as a quickstep and ended as a casual stroll. Carrie Ann says that she needs to turn it up a notch and take a risk. Len agrees, and says that she comes out and entertains them but she needs to work on technique. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. That was generous. I mean, I guess most of her routine was done properly but it was dull as hell.

Zendaya was really great last week and topped the leader board. This week, she has the jive and has to wear high heels which freaks her out. Val points out that she hasn't grown into her long arms and legs yet, and that does make her look awkward at times. So how does their jive go? Here's where Val is really smart. He choreographs the dance to be lightning fast, because she's a teenager and can handle it, and then any small imperfections are glossed over. I mean, it's good but it's not perfect, and yet it's tough to point out any issues because she just whips on to the next move.

Judges? Carrie Ann yells that Zendaya killed that number, and she was totally in control. Len doesn't think Zendaya has anything to worry about with the vote tonight. Bruno says, "A star is born, big time" and she hit some breathtaking lines. Bruno stands up and starts recreating some of her moves until Tom says he has to shut up. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 9. I'm curious about Len's score but I guess we don't have time for an explanation so that Brooke can ask more inane questions backstage.

Andy and Sharna have jazz this week. This should be... interesting. They're doing an Alice in Wonderland theme. Okay, I don't know what the fuck that was, but it was fun to watch. And demented. And not much of it looked like dancing, but Andy was totally committed. I would have no idea how to score that.

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Dancing With The Stars




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