Dancing With The Stars
Season 16, Performance 3

Episode Report Card
Monty Ashley: B | 1 USERS: B
The Weekly Promcoming Dance

Bruno shouts something about timing and entertainment value. Carrie Ann accurately praises Sharna for looking great, which was 90% of the point of the dance. Then she praises Andy for trying, which is literally the least she could say. Len reads off a scripted joke everyone seems to enjoy. Then the booing starts even before he gets to the criticism. In his opinion, it was entertaining, even though it wasn't the Cha Cha.

Brooke says that this couple rehearsed a lot, and Andy swears this means a lot to him. Then he pulls his shirt off again to show his makeup-enhanced six-pack. Their scores are 6 (Carrie Ann), 6 (Len), and 6 (Bruno). Brooke points out that it's "another six-pack," which I think is a pretty good line.

Ingo and Kim have the paso doble. Ingo has some co-workers in the audience, which is not all that surprising when you consider what network broadcasts both General Hospital and Dancing with the Stars. Their dance is about Ingo riding a motorcycle up to prom, but he appears to have some lower-back pain. And that kind of gets in the way of looking like a cool bad boy. He rides a motorcycle right onto the dance floor, although I think it's not actually running. In a paso doble, it's mostly the guy's job to make dramatic facial expressions and stomp around a lot. And that's what Ingo does so good for him! It's a little blocky for me, but I feel like he basically does his job here.

Carrie Ann was happy about the power that Ingo showed, but she wants his core to look stronger. She's very happy about her comments and keeps laughing even when Tom tries to move her along. Len doesn't seem that interested but he mostly liked it. Bruno shouts about how hard Ingo works, although he would like to see more "refinement in the shapes." I choose to interpret that as meaning that he, too, thought it was kind of blocky. See, if I make vague criticisms, I can pretend they mean the same thing as the nonsense the judges spout!

Brooke's job is now to let Ingo promote the 50th anniversary of General Hospital. Scores: 7 (Carrie Ann), 7 (Len), 7 (Bruno).

Lisa and Gleb are saddled with some people in T-shirts that spell "ROMP?" until they rearrange themselves to say "PROM?" Then they have an excruciatingly staged scene in the rehearsals. Elisa says, "If we wanna stay in the competition, we need votes." Then she brags about having a lot of Twitter followers and makes Gleb take his shirt off. Even her dog has seventy thousand followers. Think about that sentence. Done? Great! It's time for the Viennese Waltz! I have a theory that these dances are a little easier when the star is a woman, because then the professional dancer is the one leading. They do fine. I mean, it's a little stiff, but I give them extra points because they don't have a story. Why do they need a skit? It's a prom-themed waltz. Who needs more backstory to understand that, right?

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Dancing With The Stars




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