Dancing With The Stars
Season 16 Performance 4

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
VanDerPlop

Hey cats and kittens! Hope you enjoyed reading the wise words of Montykins while I was on spring break with my family. Ever taken a vacation with twin three-year-olds? Let's just say, I'm not that sad about being back home. Anyway, on with the show!

The theme tonight is that the stars are reliving the best years of their lives. What would be the best year of your life, guys? I think mine would be 2002: I got married, bought a house and got a dog. That was pretty cool. Oh, and my first nephew was born. If not that, then probably 1993 because I lost a ton of weight without even trying, met my future husband and was a senior in college with all the fun that entails. Anyway, Tom informs us that Lisa is not feeling well and is resting backstage by doctor's orders, and we don't know if she'll even be dancing tonight. If we get another injured person pulling out, I don't even know what. Stop casting decrepit old ladies, show!

You guys. Did Sean actually dance to "YMCA" last week and no one just punched him in the face and then kicked him in the 'nads? I mean, not because of the song, just on general principal? This week, he has Viennese waltz and the best year of his life was last year, when he met his fiancée. On national television.

Anyway, his waltz is better than I expected but he still looks like he has a stick up his butt most of the time. Lucky for him, that kind of works during the waltz. When they're in hold, he looks like he's going over his grocery list in his head, instead of showing love or passion or whatever on his face. When they're not in hold, he does better. He ends the dance by doing a solo over to his fiancée (whose name I refuse to learn) and it's super dorky and if my husband did that to me, I would probably burst out laughing right in his face. Then again, he would never do that to me unless he was making a joke.

Judges? Len calls it "a pretty good effort at a difficult dance" but Sean didn't always stay with the music. Bruno thought it was "caring and tender," but Sean stumbles at times with his fluidity. Carrie Ann points out that they had two lifts, which I totally missed. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 7, and Bruno 7.

Victor got pretty high scores last week, and this week he has the paso doble, which should be a no brainer for him. His best year was the year he won his first title, so of course his dance is set up like a boxing ring. Hmm. Victor seems a bit hesitant, and the paso is probably the worst dance for the man to seem hesitant. Lindsay really seems to be talking him through the routine too; you can see her mouth moving all through the first half. And Victor's form is pretty terrible. He's got the attitude down but the actual dancing - not so much.

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Dancing With The Stars

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