Dancing With The Stars
Season 17, Performance 5

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | 24 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
My Favorite Year

Tonight's one of my least favorite theme nights: "The Most Important Year of My Life." We've already heard all of the sob stories and important events of most of the contestants, so rehashing them isn't all that interesting, and I'd rather they be judged on their dancing than their tragedies. Also, most of them are really young and it makes me feel extra old when they say that the most important year of their lives was, like, 2005.

As Tom and Brooke open the show, they are standing in the audience and there's a woman standing behind them and her head is right in between their heads and it's freaking me out. She's like a giant smiling disembodied head. Anyway, it's time for a musical performance! We haven't had too many of these this season due to the one-night-per-week shows. I haven't missed them. Although this one is Aloe Blacc, accompanied by the pros doing a country-tinged dance, and I enjoy it.

After the couples are introduced, Tom announces that, based on viewer votes, it would be a female star going home tonight. He adds that the judges' scores could change things, but as of now, it's a female star. That is information that really doesn't help anyone, right? I mean, they're basically saying, "If you're female, you need good scores to stay, and if you're male, you need good scores to stay." Which is pretty much true all of the time, anyway.

Christina and Mark are given one second to respond to Julianne's diss from last week in their clip package, but it's irrelevant because Julianne was totally right and it was amazing. Then Christina talks about how 2010 was her most memorable year because she gave birth but she also got divorced. The song she's chosen is "Forget You" by Cee-Lo Green. Sad that they can't use the uncensored version. I have to say that the cha cha is Christina's dance. She's really fantastic, all attitude and flying fringe. Great hip action, great facial expressions, some modern bits thrown in, and overall just fun and enjoyable to watch with good technique.

Judges? Len says that he's glad he came back from London in time to see that performance. Bruno thought she was hot and sultry, and Carrie Ann thinks that Christina has always been good, but that was something special. Scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 10, Bruno 9. It's the first 10 of the season, and Christina and Mark are so happy that they run around the stage in celebration.

Jack is up next, and he says that his most important year was last year, 2012. He got married and moved in with his wife, and then his daughter was born, and only two weeks later, he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Jack cries when he talks about how he was worried that his quality of life would deteriorate to where he couldn't care for his child. But his wife and child pulled him out of his own head and he credits his continued positive attitude to them. Jack and Cheryl's waltz is really pretty, and Jack's posture is great. His footwork is about ninety percent spot on too, which is nice to see, and he's graceful. But he's not making it a performance. There's one part where he's pulling Cheryl backwards across the floor and the look on his face is like, "God, I hope I don't trip. Please don't trip." You shouldn't be able to read that on his face. He needs to get out of his own head and just dance.

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Dancing With The Stars

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