Just to break things up, let's have a routine done to "It's Oh So Quiet" by the professionals.
And back to the history lesson. The show was introduced in many other countries. Finally, the third season started in this country. Sara Evans left in the middle of the show due to her messy divorce. Also, Mario hooked up with Karina, and Willa hooked up with Maksim. But let's not talk about anything that might actually be interesting; let's talk about Jerry Springer. It all came down to Mario and Emmitt, and in the end, Emmitt took the title. And I was PSYCHED! I hated that smarmy Slater. I read this story which was probably not at all true but it SEEMS like it should be true; that after the finale last season, Mario was wandering around L.A. asking people why they didn't vote for him, still trying to figure it all out. I enjoyed that mental image. A bunch of the professionals talk about how the show has made ballroom dancing more popular than ever. John O'Hurley repeats my theory of how to get huge television ratings -- put on a television show that is interesting but not that challenging, and that parents and kids can watch together. This show qualifies, and so does Idol, and so does Deal or No Deal. I'm available for consulting work, network presidents. Just call me at 1-800-STATING THE OBVIOUS.
Man, Samantha's boobs are just busting out of her dress. I actually watched her on Kimmel last night, and her parents used to take her to Renaissance Faires when she was a kid, and then she got a job when she was in ninth grade (!), parading around the local mall in a bikini. It explains so much. Anyway, Apolo and Julianne discuss doing a dance that they're already done, which will be scored by the judges. Apolo suggests the mambo, but Julianne points out that the judges didn't love that. They decide instead to redo their paso doble. Oh, yeah. This is that song that sounds like "My Darling Clementine" but down old Mexico way. Apolo seems much more confident than he did the first time they performed this, but his timing also seems a little off. Their jumps weren't exactly synced and the ending was a few beats late. The audience gives them a standing ovation, both for the performance and for their last dance together. Len goes first, and says that he admires Apolo's ability to always come back stronger, and he couldn't find anything to complain about. Carrie Ann starts talking next, but the camera can't find her at first. It wouldn't be DWTS without shoddy camera work. Anyway, she likes how they minded the details. Bruno compliments their youthful and fresh spin on every routine. Okay, they headed backstage and I really thought I saw Sam's nipple. I'm not trying to be gross – that dress just wasn't the best sartorial choice for a pregnant lady. Apolo thanks the fans and his friends. Julianne thanks Apolo for being a great partner. And now the scores: 10, 10, and 10. I feel like that might not be the only perfect score tonight. Apolo and Julianne are thrilled.