Dancing With The Stars
Season 4 Performance #5: Results

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Season 4 Performance #5: Results

Time for Macy Gray, who dedicates her performance to "the victims and families at Virginia Tech," a nice gesture that, due to her slurring, seems like it was going to go horribly wrong, but she pulls it off. She's swaying back and forth while she sings, and I am just waiting for her to fall over. She's also wearing metallic bronze fingerless gloves. She is a national treasure.

Now there's a feature on the hair and makeup for the performers. What important facts do we learn? They wear a lot of makeup. Billy Ray wore eyeliner. It takes the women a lot longer to get their makeup on. Clyde doesn't need a spray tan. And...we're out.

It's time to reveal two more couples who are safe. The first is Apolo and Julianne. Shocker. The second is Joey and Kym. Also not surprising. I'm getting a little worried about my buddy Ian, though.

Now the stars get to sound off about the judges. Try to guess what they think, then come back and compare your answers. Here's what they said: the judging is uncomfortable, sometimes difficult to understand, and not always constructive. It can also be motivating. Billy Ray just wants one 8, and then he can go home. Well, he may not get that chance.

The remaining four couples have never been in jeopardy, and it's time to find out which are the bottom two and which are going forward. Clyde and Elena are in the bottom two. Ian and Cheryl are safe. Yay! Billy Ray and his nipples and Karina and her enormous earrings are safe. Heather and Jonathan are in the bottom two! Awesome! Is it unseemly for me to root against her so vociferously?

Finally, we get to find out who is going home. While waiting for the announcement, Heather takes Clyde's hand, and he looks like he's not interested in her support. Tom announces that Clyde and Elena are going home. Hugs are exchanged all around, and the audience gives them a standing ovation. In his exit interview, Clyde says the experience was great, and he thanks his partner and the fans and the judges. Sam asks him about the other competitors, and he says some bland nothings about how great they are. Tom asks what Clyde would like to tell the judges about how to treat the contestants and...my recording cuts off, but I'm going to guess that he told them to understand that the contestants are doing their best. See you next week!

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Dancing With The Stars

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