Dancing With The Stars
Season 4 Performance #6

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Season 4 Performance #6

They start dancing, and I still maintain that Heather's gangliness and awkwardness don't have that much to do with her fake leg. I bet she wasn't all that graceful before her accident. Plus, she keeps calling attention to it, almost like she's asking for special treatment, and it just bothers me. Anyway, the dance goes pretty well – there are a lot of dramatic touches. Carrie Ann agrees with me about Heather's posture and grace. Len liked the passion, but he agrees about the upper body issues. Look, I'm not trying to minimize how difficult some of the moves must be for her. I'm just saying that she shouldn't get a pass on the parts of dancing that have nothing to do with her legs. Then my shitty local affiliate (remember how I had no sound last week) cuts back to the show during the Samantha backstage interview, but they skipped showing Heather and Jonathan's scores, except to say that they got a 23 out of 30. I'm going to go ahead and guess they got something like 8, 7, and 8. The most confusing part (and again, maybe this refers to something that got cut out on my end) is that as Samantha gives the voting phone number, Jonathan makes the "call now" sign but Heather makes the "cut" sign. Like is she saying don't call? That she doesn't want to be on the show? It is a mystery.

Next up are John Ratzenberger and Edyta. Edyta reminds us that this season, no one has been in the bottom two one week and avoided elimination the next week, but John and Edyta did just that. John explains that he wasn't very optimistic when he accepted the (late) invitation to be on the show, so he booked a bunch of things for this week, assuming he wouldn't be on the show anymore, so he goes along with the theme of the week by saying that he didn't have a lot of time to learn the dance. And now it's time to mambo!

Edyta is barely wearing any clothes, which I think is a good strategy, because then people will look at her instead of John. I don't know. I think John is kind of cute when he dances. He seems to be having a good time. He's like your baby boomer next door neighbor who always lets you borrow his hedge trimmers and gives you advice on edging your lawn, and then you invite him to your wedding and it turns out that he can really cut a rug. Their dance is adequate. We get a lot of shots of Norm clapping in the audience. Carrie Ann calls John "a teddy bear" and says she thinks he's cute as well. Len points out that John is getting more and more into the show as he goes along, and his enthusiasm is great, but the routine (meaning the choreography) was awful. Bruno calls them "the Owl and the Pussycat." I don't even know what that means. Is John the Owl or the Pussycat in that scenario? And would either be a positive thing?

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Dancing With The Stars

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