Dancing With The Stars
Season 4 Performance #7: Results

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Season 4 Performance #7: Results

Last night, in case you missed it, the contestants had to learn two dances in one week. Joey and Laila both managed to get perfect scores for one of their dances! But tonight, someone is going home. LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE! (I seriously love how Tom yells that. Just listen to it sometime.)

Samantha looks pregnant for the first time tonight. I don't know why I'm kind of obsessed with that, except that there's so much filler in these results episodes that I have to have something to keep myself amused. Tom recaps the events from last night. Ian released his lighter side and enjoyed himself, and afterwards, he seemed elated. People doubted whether John could pull off two dances, but he impressed the judges. Billy Ray "exceeded all entertainment expectation," which means that he didn't exceed anyone's dance expectations. Which is pretty difficult, since expectations are quite low. Billy Ray makes his "heelbilly" joke again, which I'm pretty tired of by now. Apolo took a hit with the judges, and Julianne's dress almost fell off. During their interview, Julianne tells Len, "You're going to get it and you're going to get it hard." Dirty! Laila got a perfect score for her samba, and Len made a weird reference to her dad after telling her how sexy she was. Joey managed to eke out a perfect score for his jive, with all the judges agreeing that he did a great job. In his interview, Joey seems a little cocky, boasting about his perfect score, but he reels it back to admit that they have a lot of work ahead of them. People like humility, Joey, as long as it's not forced. We get one last reminder of the standings at the end of last night, with Laila and Joey tied for first, Apolo and Ian tied for third, John fifth and Billy Ray sixth. I realize they don't dance alone, but it gets tiresome to type out the partners' names each time, so I hope you'll forgive the shorthand.

Tom throws it to Len to ask who he would like to see do an encore. Len reminds him that they had two couples with perfect scores and couldn't decide between them, so they tossed a coin. The encore goes to Laila and Maksim, doing the samba. Oh, great. More Maksim hip action. I just find that so gross. He's a good-looking guy, but not my type. Too cheesy and soap opera-ish. My husband just accidentally called Laila "Lolly Ali," which made me laugh harder than it should have.

And now it's time for Mr. Loaf! Meat Loaf (really?) is there to perform "Bat Out of Hell" as the professionals dance. I wonder how much Meat Loaf spends annually on velvet. And scarves. The professionals start their dance with the three women leaping off the judges' stand into the arms of their partners, which is quite impressive. I would fall flat on my ass. How come no one mentions that most of the professionals had to learn another dance on top of the two they did with their partners (those that are still in competition, anyway)? And choreograph the two dances with their partners. I know it's their job and everything, but that still seems like a lot of work. You know who I don't miss in the competition? Louis. Never liked him. Boy, this song is long. I remember at my cousin's wedding, my mom and I were dancing to "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" (my mom had a weakness for the Loaf) and one of my mom's friends was super impressed that I knew all of the words. I explained that anyone who spent any length of time in a college dorm or college bar knows the words to that song. I haven't heard the song since, and I could probably sing it straight through right now. And so could thousands of other people, which is why Meat Loaf has more money than me.

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Dancing With The Stars

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