Dancing With The Stars
Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
1211 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Season 4 Performance #9

Ian and Cheryl didn't impress the judges much last week, but their fans voted and they managed to escape the bottom two. So Ian brought in...a life coach? And it's not Rhonda from Starting Over? Riiiip-oooooofff! Rhonda would make Ian cut out little paper dolls to represent the judges and then hang paddles all over his body with numbers on them to represent his low scores, and then he would have to do an interpretive dance while shedding the paddles and destroying the paper dolls to symbolize freeing himself from worrying what the judges think. And if you think I'm kidding, you clearly never watched that show. Good times. Anyway, Ian blowhards, "Being an actor, my emotions are...very close to the surface." Anyone who starts a sentence with "Being a fill-in-the-blank" is a blowhard. Cheryl was impressed with the life coach. Ian realizes that he needs to be real and let his enjoyment show. Ian promises "a whole new Ian Ziering." I kind of dug the old Ian. I don't know about the new blowhard-y Ian.

Anyway, they're dancing the tango. Ian does seem more confident, which I think especially helps in this particular dance. His legs seem weirdly bent, though. Plus the choreography is kind of boring, and I don't know if that's due to Cheryl's lack of skill or Ian's. But I'm bored, and a tango shouldn't be boring. Bruno thought it was better, but Ian needs to watch his footwork. Carrie Ann thought he lost focus in the middle of the routine. Hey, is that Nat? From the Peach Pit! And...Jennie Garth? Doesn't she have anything better to do? She and the Fac have like three kids, don't they? I guess he's home babysitting -- it's not like he's busy either. Len says that the other judges are crazy and it was their best dance ever, and he watched it very closely. As Ian and Cheryl head backstage, Tom stumbles over the name Enrique Iglesias, and so Sam says it when the cameras show her, like she hasn't messed up about ten things each week. Shut up, Sam. Scores! They get a 9, 10, and 9 for a total of 28 out of 30. Ian and Cheryl are fired up about a 10, since it's their first of the season, and from Len no less! They should be proud.

Dancing With The Stars

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