Dancing With The Stars
Season 5 Performance #1: Women

Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
Season 5 Performance #1: Women

As much as I'm enjoying Drew's hosting, it's a little weird to see two dudes hosting the show. Plus, Drew's orange tie is not helping to make his tan look any less fake. Sabrina is up next, and she promises to bring some "Cheetah-licious flavor." No, thank you. Actually, if that tastes anything like Cheetos, that might not be bad. And after eating them, I would wipe my hands on Drew's face, and you wouldn't even be able to tell. Sabrina is dancing with Mark. He demonstrates for her the difference between hip-hop moves and Latin moves. I applaud Sabrina for being less than stick-thin. I like tween role models who look like normal girls. Anyway, Sabrina has trouble breaking her hip-hop habits, so they decide to try to incorporate the hip-hop into the routine. We'll see how Len feels about that.

They're dancing to that Pussycat Dolls song. Sabrina is quite hip-hop in her moves, but at least she's got a lot of energy and her moves are pretty sharp. But almost too much, for my taste. The crowd gives them a standing ovation, and the judges can't even hear Tom. Carrie Ann thinks Sabrina was fierce, but she thought it was too much hip-hop, since Sabrina is supposed to be learning ballroom. Tom isn't sure if Bruno's facial expression is good or bad. Bruno explodes, "Sabrina! You are a bewitching blonde dynamo!" He thought her footwork had "almost surgical precision" and he's never seen anything like that in the first week. Len tells Bruno to take a chill pill, and Bruno pretends to be offended. Len says he'll knock off a few points because of the hip-hop moves, which the crowd boos. I think that's fair. She's supposed to be judged on her ability to learn ballroom routines. We already know she's a good hip-hop dancer. So let's find out the scores: Carrie Ann 9, Len 8, and Bruno 9. That's a 26 out of 30. Sabrina says she's not sorry for doing the hip-hop moves, because she knows her fans will love it. Good point. I kind of hate her. She's like a Disney marketing robot.

Let's meet Marie and Jonathan! Marie says she's done every type of performance but dancing. She thinks a lot of women find themselves single, over forty-five, and with a lot of kids, and she wants to show them that they can still have fun. Yeah, if they have an empire built on purple socks and creepy dolls. Marie announces to Jonathan that she wants to be the first woman to win since Season One. Marie says that she's competitive, but she also has trouble focusing because she likes to be goofy. Marie concludes with a joke about how big her family is, and how they will all be calling in to vote for her.

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Dancing With The Stars




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