Dancing With The Stars
Season 5 Performance #2

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Season 5 Performance #2

After a quick retelling of what happened last week (answer: not much worth repeating: Mark was in the bottom two, and then Josie went home), Tom explains that the celebrities only had four days to learn their dance this time around, and we'll be seeing men and women on the same night. What? Next thing you know, cats and dogs will be living together and rain will fall up from the ground. LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Drew still looks nervous, but he does manage to toss out a "WOOOO!" before the celebrities walk down the stairs as they are introduced. The first couple will be Mel and Maks. Mel was really happy with their scores last week, but now she has to learn the quickstep. She complains about how rigid it is. Maks says that he can't contain Mel and make her look like a lady. I get what he's saying, but it's kind of rude. Maks calls in an etiquette coach to help Mel with her grace and posture. I know this is going to shock you, but she has to walk with a book on her head. And it falls off. And she has to learn to curtsy. Seriously, is this an episode of The Brady Bunch? Mel and Maks keep practicing, and Maks says she is improving, but I think her butt is still sticking out too much. Ziggah ziggah! They run out to the floor to do their dance to "Take On Me" by A-Ha. It starts with some really visually interesting twirls up on the upper stage. I don't know if that's part of the quickstep or not, but it looked cool. They head down to the main level and quickstep around. At the very end, they do a run gallop down the length of the floor, and Mel loses her posture a little bit, but not much.

So what did the judges think? Len says that the B in Mel B. must stand for "ballroom." He's impressed with her ability to keep her posture. Bruno compares Mel to Lena Horne and Ginger Rogers. Carrie Ann compliments Mel's posture, and advises her to work on her turns and her shoulders. The other judges tell Carrie Ann she's being too picky, but Carrie Ann says that she just thinks Mel could be really, really good with just a little more work. Mel and Maks head backstage to talk to Drew, who thinks they made the quickstep look easy. The judges reveal their scores: 7, 8, and 8 for a total of 23 out of 30. Mel and Maks are happy, and Drew gives a Spice Girls shout-out by asking the home audience to give Mel "what she wants, what she really, really wants." Mel pretends to choke him, like she couldn't have seen that coming.

I have to tell you – I got a new HDTV this weekend, and this show looks amazing, but man, do they wear a lot of makeup. Our next couple is Mark Cuban and Kym. Mark remembers being in the bottom two last week, and promises to work hard to avoid that again. Kym says that she's never been around someone who worked so hard and was so focused. Mark is a sweaty, sweaty man. He tells us that he's not ready to be eliminated. I guess he learned to shut up about how much money he has; I think that hurt his votes last week. They start their mambo to "Must Be the Money." Mark's posture is not great. He's doing a lot of mugging for the camera, which is not my favorite, but he seems to have the steps down okay. He's got a sleeveless shirt on, and he does have nice arms, but he's just gross all around as far as I'm concerned.

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Dancing With The Stars

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