Last week, Albert got sent packing. Tom claims that this week, the stars have trained more hours than in any other season. Really? I'd kind of like to see a bar graph on that. As well as a cost/benefit ratio of hours trained/judges' scores. Hey, did you know that this show is LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE?
Drew is forced to remind us once again that Samantha is home with her baby, like, does any regular viewer of the show not know that yet? And does any non-regular viewer care? Whoa! What happened to Jane Seymour's hair? I'm going to assume that's a wig, because she's got a really short flapper-type bob. Oh, and Wayne Newton has a faux-nytail. This week, the dancers will be doing either the tango or the jive.
First up this week is Sabrina. My husband confesses that he keeps thinking they are calling her a Chia Girl, like a Chia Pet. That is a bit disconcerting. Sabrina is dancing the jive this week, and she wants to regain the top spot. To that end, she keeps criticizing Mark's choreography, urging him to incorporate flashier moves. Sabrina looks surprisingly normal when she has no makeup on and her hair isn't so styled. They open their dance with Mark leapfrogging Sabrina and then doing a flip. He also does the worm at one point, which doesn't seem like it really belongs in the jive. Save it for the freestyle, dude. There's also some sort of Michael Jackson theme, as Sabrina is wearing sparkly gloves and Mark is wearing sparkly socks. Overall, solid effort, quite snappy, and great footwork.
But who cares what I think. What do the judges think? Len liked the jive footwork, but thought they incorporated some "bizarre steps" like "that Free Willy move." Overall, he thought it was their best dance yet. Bruno calls Sabrina "a seismic event" (which Bruno pronounces "siz-mick") and compliments her ability to give it her all every time. Carrie Ann thought she would overpower the dance in the beginning, but it all worked out. Hey, Louis and Lisa Rinna are in the audience. Remember their jive? I do, because Lisa Rinna's legs always freaked me out. Backstage, Drew asks Sabrina if the dances are too easy for her. Sabrina says that they're not, but she's trying to push Mark to his full potential. The judges give them three 9s, which pleases them.
Cameron and Edyta are up next. Cameron laments that they've been stuck with the pack in the middle, and he wants to break out. This week, he'll be doing the tango. Cameron and Edyta even practice on the set of All My Children. Cameron vows to blow the judges away with this dance. They start with a nod to Bruno's Clark Kent/Superman comment last week, as Cameron is wearing thick glasses, which he then tosses away before doing a flying leap from the stage. Overall, the dance is good, with some sections of particularly nice footwork, but there's just something holding Cameron back. I think he's like a really good wedding dancer. Like if you saw him dancing at a wedding, you'd think he was awesome. But I think he's just not conscious enough of his body position to be a mock-professional dancer. Anyway, Cameron carries Edyta over to the judges' table.