Okay, next up is Adam Carolla, and I have a confession to make. I am a huge fan of Adam Carolla. I never watched The Man Show or any of that, but I started listening to old episodes of Loveline last year and now I listen to the podcasts of his radio show, and I went back and watched his TLC show from a few years back. He's smart, he's quick, and he's funny, and he often references bad music from the '70s. My perfect match. I don't always agree with his take on politics or women or various cultures, but he makes me laugh on the regular and that makes up for a lot in my book. So I'm really, really nervous for this performance, and I just hope he doesn't make a fool out of himself, but I'll try to be impartial.
Adam runs through his resume and says that he knew this show would be humiliating. His first meeting with Julianne actually occurred on Adam's radio show. Adam says he felt sorry for her, because he knew he wouldn't win. He also felt uncomfortable because he's so much older than her and she's so hot, and he had to have his groin pressed into hers in front of God and everybody. In rehearsals, Adam wouldn't shut up long enough to rehearse, but somehow over the four weeks he made some progress. Oh, I'm so nervous. Just please don't let him be the Master P. Or the Kenny Mayne. Or the Tucker Carlson.
Oh, dear. It's not good. He's about ten beats ahead of her, and then about twenty beats behind. He recovers a little bit near the end, but he's still way too stiff. A sense of rhythm is something you can't fake. Bruno says that the foxtrot was supposed to be George Clooney and it looked like Will Ferrell and John Cleese. Adam jokes that all of those people could buy and sell Bruno. Len liked Adam's footwork but thinks he has a lot of work to do on...pretty much everything else. Adam wonders how Len can tell him to put on a tuxedo and get in front of all those people and do something he's horrible at and then relax. Carrie Ann's reaction is much like mine -- there were moments where she thought it was going to work and then it went horribly wrong. Oh, Adam. I feel like if he could have just been on the beat, it would have been...about the same as Penn. Well, at least he tried and got some promotion for his movie. Because if this is what four weeks of rehearsal produced, I don't know if I could stand seeing what he could learn in just one week. It's time for Adam's scores: Carrie Ann 5, Len 5, and Bruno 5. Adam assures Julianne that she'll be able to hit the road early to promote her new country album. Julianne tries to give the old, "I'm going to try even harder next week" but Adam knows he was terrible. I feel bad for the Aceman, but then again, he could have shut up and rehearsed once in a while.