Dancing With The Stars

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Season 6 Performance #1: Women

Their dance begins with Monica holding a flower. Jonathan dances around for a while before Monica joins him. She has really low heels on too. They're lower than most of the men wear. They have zero chemistry, although she's better than her rehearsals. She's almost as stiff as some of the men were, and she has no grace in her arms. I feel bad for her, but God bless her. What did the judges think? Bruno loved her romantic tone and advises her to work on her core. Len liked the story they told, and advises her to lift her carriage. Carrie Ann realizes that this doesn't come easily to her, but loves that she went for it. They were way nicer to her than they were to the guys. Maybe because she didn't mouth off back to them. Scores? Carrie Ann 5, Len 5, and Bruno 5. Same as Adam Carolla. I think that's about right, and I'm really glad that the judges are using the lower scores this early.

Marissa Jaret Winokur, who won a Tony Award for Hairspray, is partnered with Tony. She hopes to show women of any size that they can get out there and dance. Marissa walks into the studio and SCREAMS! If you've seen her blog, you know she's a fan of the all caps and the exclamation points, and that's totally her personality. Marissa confesses that she's not even five feet tall. As they rehearse, I think she gets a little annoying. Marissa learns how to tone down her stage moves. I hope she learns how to tone down her excitability. It's cute in small doses, but eesh.

Wow. What is Tony wearing? He has on fully sequined pants, like one hundred percent sequined, and then a shirt that is so low cut that it's basically an unbuttoned shirt tucked into his pants. And it's completely sheer. There's not a lot of cha-cha-cha in this dance. At one point, Marissa screws up and Tony doesn't cover well. There's much more hip-hop than anything else. Not really my thing. Tom says that Tony looks like "a macho oil slick." Carrie Ann makes fun of Tony's pants, and then says that she loves Marisa's smile, but she thought the dance lacked content. The crowd boos. Eff off, crowd. She's totally right. Bruno agrees. Len says he was bewitched by the performance, bothered by the screwups, and bewildered that Tony didn't give her more to do. I totally agree with all three judges. Scores? Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, Bruno 6. Marissa, I'm sure you will be shocked to hear, is thrilled with that, bouncing around. Marissa explains that she got too excited and that's why she screwed up her routine. Xanax. Look into it.

Priscilla Presley is up next. Remember when her face moved? She looks like the Joker. Her partner is Louis Van Amstel. Priscilla joins him in the rehearsal studio, and explains that he shouldn't treat her delicately. Louis takes that to heart and asks her to attempt a death spiral. Priscilla vows to do whatever it takes to win.

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Dancing With The Stars

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