Dancing With The Stars

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Gay, Straight, or Gute?

Marlee and Fabian are back to do the mambo. Why do they make the couple do the routine that got them eliminated? They should be allowed to choose which past routine they want to do. Marlee had way better routines than this one. She performs better than she did the week that she got eliminated, but she still looks fairly stiff. Her footwork is way better though. She does get a bit off the beat at one point, but can you blame her?

Shannon and Derek are back to do their quickstep. I feel like Derek re-choreographed this routine because I don't remember their footwork being this complicated. Then again, maybe I wasn't paying attention because I was mesmerized by the baby giraffe. Yeah, I don't remember this routine at all, so either I'm losing it, or Derek changed it. After the routine, Tom jokes that Shannon might be winded and need to lean on him. So Shannon climbs up on him and nearly knocks Tom over! And looks so ungraceful! What is she doing? Samantha tries to get Shannon to talk about her romance, but Samantha has clearly had some PR training so she just uses the opportunity to thank the judges. I had crisis PR training once and the only thing I remember is that you don't have to answer the question asked, and should look at an interview as an opportunity to get your message out. Also, most television footage doesn't show the question asked, just the answer, so don't repeat the question and just say whatever the hell you want. There. I just saved you from sitting through media training. Derek easily picks Shannon up (because he was expecting it and she didn't climb up him like he is a jungle gym) and twirls her off the stage. I'm so over these two.

Mario and Karina are back to do the mambo. He is so quick and graceful. His posture's still not great, but I feel bad that he didn't outlast Marissa, because he clearly should have. I guess he should have shown more personality. And learned to point his toes.

Marissa and Tony are back to dance their paso doble. Marissa is actually better than I remember, but it could be that she's not as nervous since this doesn't matter. She still can't kick for shit though. My card-carrying-AARP-member dad can kick higher, and he's contemplating a knee replacement.

In a clip package, the judges give their thoughts on both Jason and Kristi. Just make up some lines in your head about the football hero versus the Olympic champion and I bet you could predict everything that they say. It's nicely edited and all, but it's just more stupid filler. Can't we let Adam interview someone or something?

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Dancing With The Stars

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