Tom jokes that Cloris has been missing since she was eliminated, even though she threatened to return, so the show went looking for her. Cut to Cloris crawling out of a cardboard box, still wearing her dress from the week she was eliminated. She's dirty and disheveled, with fake eyelashes falling off her face. She does a Wonder Woman twirl and transforms into a clean version of her outfit, and then decides to go out and ask the public whom they want to win. One guy likes Warren, and Cloris tells him that Warren is way bigger. One girl thinks she can't vote because she's not a citizen. I don't think they check ID. At one point, Cloris has the microphone upside-down. Guess what? There are people who want to vote for each of the three contestants. And Cloris still isn't all that funny.
Alicia Keys is up next. I read that all the performances were recorded last night. I don't know why I wanted to mention that, but I did. So there. Alicia Keys does a lot more dancing than you usually see from her. I guess she's usually sitting behind a piano. This time, she grabs the mike and goes right out on the floor and moves along with her backup dancers. I'm not crazy about this song. It's no "If I Ain't Got You" or "No One." She does head over to the piano to do some playing while her backup dancers show off their moves. So I guess she's singing live, right? And not lip-synching? Do you think Miley will sing live? HA HA HA HA!
Tom and Samantha introduce a review of the entire season. Are there really people who tune in for the finale having missed much of the regular season? Right from the beginning, Cloris was wacky with her cleavage and people were shocked that Warren could move so well. Jeff Ross was the first of many injuries when he got poked in the eyeball. Misty May looked promising. Bruno made topical Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac jokes. Were we ever so young? Misty May seemed even more promising. Toni got accused of doing lifts. Wow, I totally don't remember Lance and Lacey kissing at the end of their dance. This HAS been a long season.