Tom points out Kristi Yamaguchi, current champion, who is sitting in the audience. But now it's time to reveal who came in third place. Lance could have shaved for the finale. I'm just saying. Man, the crowd loves Warren. When Tom says his name, they just cheer. So who's the big loser? Lance and Lacey. Wow! I didn't think it was going to be them. Samantha asks Lance if this has all been worth it. Lance says that it's been amazing, but Joey will never let them live it down. Tom reminds us that Lance and Lacey will be on the tour, but he commends them for blowing the roof off the place last week, when he really needed to do so. Lacey is proud of her partner too.
Does anyone want to hear Miley Cyrus sing right now? Just tell us the winner! I mean, I know there are people who love Miley but are any of them still up at 10:30 at night? They shouldn't be. We had a big slumber party at my best friend's house this past weekend with a few adults and a bunch of kids aged four to seven, and I've never heard so much Miley Cyrus. And I never want to again. It's the worst kind of pop music. You don't want to like it, but it totally gets stuck in your head anyway. Also, Miley Cyrus is crazy pigeon-toed. Maybe she and Lance could get some sort of deal on corrective surgery. So that's over. I think her boyfriend is in the audience -- I recognize him from the tabloids. And he is showing no enthusiasm at all for her performance. He might be drugged.
Backstage, Samantha tries to get the remaining two couples to talk to each other. Brooke tells Warren that he's a "groovy teddy bear" and Kym is an amazing dancer. Derek says that this is the closest final in a long time. Kym thinks Brooke is graceful and cool. The word "amazing" is thrown around a LOT. Warren says it's the best experience of his life, and the male dancers made him feel at home.
Tom jokes that this is the part where he asks the eliminated contestants who will win, and they all plug their latest project. But first, he compliments their dancing tonight. I totally agree. Kim admits that she wasn't as nervous tonight, and then plugs her stupid reality show. Susan thinks having more time to rehearse helped her routine. Tom asks to borrow Maurice's orange silk leisure suit, and Maurice pretends he's going to take it off. Here's why Tom is awesome: he's like "Okay, let's do it!" Whereas Samantha would have gotten all nervous and awkward and made it weird. Maurice says that he doesn't want to cause a riot amongst the ladies, and Tom lets it go.