Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
Never Can Say Goodbye

I'm curious how they will handle this. Will the eliminated couple get a sendoff and then the others dance? Or vice versa? Either way seems quite awkward. Tom reminds the remaining couples that they are not necessarily the bottom two, but one of them will be going home for sure. And the couple going home is... Jeffrey and Edyta. Jeff actually looks sad. I'm not sure if he's doing shtick, but it looked sincere. Jeff jokes that the whole thing was a nightmare, and then says that he was told that Edyta was going to be easy on the eyes. Get it? Because he hurt his eye? And also Jeff encourages others to try dancing and also has some kind words for Edyta. But before they can do their last dance, Kim and Mark have to go!

Kim is worried in rehearsals that she can't be sexy in the mambo. And you know what? She's not sexy. She's too controlled. We get a few shots of the famous ass. She is like the least sexual person to ever have a sex tape. Oh, they're dancing to "Baby Got Back." So wrong. Is this supposed to be a mambo? I haven't seen any dancing yet. Just a lot of Mark flouncing around and Kim acting like a stripper and standing in one place and striking poses. That was fucking terrible. Please let her go home tomorrow night. I can take "celebrities" with no reason for being famous, and I can't take people who don't have the dancing goods. But put both of those people in one body, and I really can't take it. At least Jeff Ross, who was also a terrible dancer, could come up with a quip now and then. Bruno says that Kim is frustrating and he tries to make a financial bailout joke but I don't know. Len says that Kim has put in her head that she's not sexy and it's self-fulfilling. Carrie Ann thinks they need to consider that Kim had to stand there and wait all night. Backstage, Kim claims that she's "reserved." Yeah, she's just a shy girl with a sex tape. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6, and Bruno 6. She has no personality. I really can't stand her.

Everyone dons eye patches to say goodbye to Jeff and Edyta. Cloris looks devastated to hear that she's in last place. Is she really that surprised? I'd like to live in her world for a while. Here are the standings:

Brooke and Derek: 26
Toni and Alec: 23
Cody and Julianne: 23
Warren and Kym: 22
Susan and Tony: 22
Lance and Lacey: 21
Misty and Maks: 21
Maurice and Cheryl: 21
Rocco and Karina: 21
Ted and Inna: 19
Kim and Mark: 18
Cloris and Corky: 16

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Dancing With The Stars




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