In the review of last week's activity, Tom lumps Jeff and Ted together as "funny guys," which I guess may be true, but seems weird. Tom reveals that tonight will be the paso doble and the rumba, and while the stars had five weeks to prepare for last week's dances, this time around, they only had four days. FOUR DAYS! Except that if they learned the other dances quickly, they could have started on this one, right? Or do they not know until after the results show which one they are doing?
Anyway, Tom and Samantha introduce the couples, and they have some wacky outfits this week! There are a lot of boobs. Hello, Toni's boobs. And Brooke's boobs. And Susan Lucci's boobs, which look like ping pong balls attached to a toothpick. Len explains that tonight is tougher than last week because of the short prep time, but he hopes to be surprised. My husband (he's back!) remarks that HD is not kind to Cloris Leachman. I tell him that I'm not kind to Cloris Leachman either.
Toni and Alec are up first. Toni reveals that Alec promised her that if they made it through the first week, he would sing in public, since that would make him as uncomfortable as dancing makes her. So Alec goes to a karaoke bar and tries to sing "Unbreak My Heart" and he is TERRIBLE. Really bad. Good thing this show isn't called "Singing with the Dancers." Their rumba begins. I'm wondering how Toni keeps that awesome body if she has a heart condition and probably isn't really allowed to work out hard. Maybe she's just genetically blessed. Anyway, the rumba is not really my thing. It always looks like Solid Gold to me. Their flesh-colored outfits aren't helping. I can tell that it looks graceful, although I'm not feeling the emotional connection. What about the judges? Tom holds up a 2 paddle as his score for Alec's singing first. In real judging, Len says that he was surprised at how good it was, although he would have liked more basic dancing. Bruno liked the dramatics, but they need to work on the basics. Carrie Ann thinks that Toni dances like she sings, but she calls them on two lifts. Really? There were? I was totally not paying attention. Sorry about that. Backstage, Alec makes a William Hung joke. Again, really? Alec needs better writers. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 8, and Bruno 8.