Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
The Pass-Out Doble

In the review of last week's activity, Tom lumps Jeff and Ted together as "funny guys," which I guess may be true, but seems weird. Tom reveals that tonight will be the paso doble and the rumba, and while the stars had five weeks to prepare for last week's dances, this time around, they only had four days. FOUR DAYS! Except that if they learned the other dances quickly, they could have started on this one, right? Or do they not know until after the results show which one they are doing?

Anyway, Tom and Samantha introduce the couples, and they have some wacky outfits this week! There are a lot of boobs. Hello, Toni's boobs. And Brooke's boobs. And Susan Lucci's boobs, which look like ping pong balls attached to a toothpick. Len explains that tonight is tougher than last week because of the short prep time, but he hopes to be surprised. My husband (he's back!) remarks that HD is not kind to Cloris Leachman. I tell him that I'm not kind to Cloris Leachman either.

Toni and Alec are up first. Toni reveals that Alec promised her that if they made it through the first week, he would sing in public, since that would make him as uncomfortable as dancing makes her. So Alec goes to a karaoke bar and tries to sing "Unbreak My Heart" and he is TERRIBLE. Really bad. Good thing this show isn't called "Singing with the Dancers." Their rumba begins. I'm wondering how Toni keeps that awesome body if she has a heart condition and probably isn't really allowed to work out hard. Maybe she's just genetically blessed. Anyway, the rumba is not really my thing. It always looks like Solid Gold to me. Their flesh-colored outfits aren't helping. I can tell that it looks graceful, although I'm not feeling the emotional connection. What about the judges? Tom holds up a 2 paddle as his score for Alec's singing first. In real judging, Len says that he was surprised at how good it was, although he would have liked more basic dancing. Bruno liked the dramatics, but they need to work on the basics. Carrie Ann thinks that Toni dances like she sings, but she calls them on two lifts. Really? There were? I was totally not paying attention. Sorry about that. Backstage, Alec makes a William Hung joke. Again, really? Alec needs better writers. Scores: Carrie Ann 7, Len 8, and Bruno 8.

Derek and Brooke are up next. Tom reminds us that they got the highest scores last week, including the only 9s. Brooke worries in interviews that they set the bar too high, so people will have big expectations for their paso doble. Derek tries to get Brooke to bring out her intensity and passion, which isn't Brooke's strong suit. Hey, how about coming up with some contrived footage for the clip package? They go to a karate dojo to learn intensity. One thing Brooke does that makes her stand out among the celeb amateurs is her precise arm movement. It seems like most of the others are still trying to learn the steps and posture, and she's already adding the details that make for the higher scores. There are a few screw-ups however, including a slide that doesn't go so well, and a few other small problems. It's not as good as last week, in my opinion. But my opinion means nothing! Carrie Ann was mesmerized. Len liked their controlled aggression, except for the "messing about" at the beginning and end. Bruno tells Brooke that she's born to dance due to her "breathtaking artistry." Scores: Carrie Ann 8, Len 8, and Bruno 8. Brooke and Derek are both really happy with that.

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Dancing With The Stars




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