Dancing With The Stars

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Baby Got Booted

Okay, so it's time for the Masters of Dance thing, featuring Jenna Dewan. Isn't she the one that Justin supposedly dated her after he and Britney broke up? My memory for gossip from like 2002 is fading. Anyway, the dancers are all wearing these Matrix-type outfits with LED lights and it's kind of cool, but honestly? If I wanted to see this type of dancing, I would watch one of the eight million other dancing shows on the air. I like ballroom dancing; I'd like to see some more of that. Maybe some of the types that they don't do on this show, or bring in more world champions or whatever. There just isn't much of what I would call dancing in this routine -- it seems like striking poses in time to the music. I was just telling Wing Chun earlier today that my friend Gretchen and I used to spend hours making up routines to the Fame soundtrack, and about ninety percent of those routines were to "Hot Lunch." And this routine kind of reminded me of my fifth-grade choreography. (As an aside, Wing has never seen Fame! I know! What is wrong with her? Did they not have it in Canada? Anyway, it's in her Netflix queue now, so problem solved there.)

Oh, God. Jessica Simpson is singing another song? And I think it's a ballad. BAD TIMES. I think Jessica needs to renew her Proactiv subscription or however you buy that bullshit because her skin is not looking great. And despite my misgivings over her looks, career, and romantic life, didn't Jessica Simpson at least used to be able to sing a little bit? Because she's really bad. I can't imagine this is going to sell any copies of her album. Maks and Cheryl come out to dance to the song. I really love seeing the pros dancing together; they can kind of let go and really perform in a way they can't when dancing with their celebrities, because they don't have to cover up for their partner. And I think I read a rumor today about Maks and Cheryl; maybe it was planted by the show's publicist but they are pretty hot together. I'd believe it.

Backstage, Samantha gets Julianne to make fun of Cody for being so young, and Samantha almost has a zinger when she reminds Julianne that she was only eighteen when she started on the show. Then Brooke has a chance to reiterate that she has to work really hard at dancing, so people don't think she's got it easy and forget to vote for her or something. After that, Tom reveals that another couple is safe, and this time it's... Susan and Tony.

Tom takes a moment to show us the backstage area (The Red Room) where the dancers hang out when they're not dancing. Lance tells us that it's crazy back there, and Warren tells us there's a lot of energy. Rocco confesses that there's a lot of primping and adjusting parts back there as we see Kim Kardashian fixing her boobs. Warren thinks that Misty is one of the guys. Rocco and Toni make fun of Warren for bringing his own fan. Misty reveals that Cody always gets lost backstage. Maurice is very positive, always high-fiving people and hugging and offering congrats. Rocco is constantly texting. Aw, now I'm starting to not like him again. And everyone thinks Cloris is crazy. And then a bunch of people say that they're not ready to go home. That was an interesting idea for a segment, but it could have been a lot more candid and revealing. I bet some shit goes down when the cameras go off.

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Dancing With The Stars

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