Dancing With The Stars

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Rock This Town

Hey, it's time to torture some kids! Are you game? The first couple tonight is Anthony and Alisa. They're from L.A., and they're best friends. They also want to be really famous. Where are their parents? There's something wrong with little kids whose goals in life are to be famous, isn't there? Anyway, they'll be doing the jive. I have to say, I think Anthony is a way better dancer than Alisa, who tends to pull faces while she dances and is less flexible. Len thought it was fantastic. Bruno recognizes that Alisa does ballet, and advises her to continue because it will help her lines. Carrie Ann likes their attitude, but she didn't say much about their dancing.

Their competition is Mitchell and Maria. Mitchell is one of the few boys I've seen on this show that has actually hit puberty. He has peach fuzz and a deep voice and everything. They're thirteen and have been dancing together since they were six. Mitchell likes to play soccer and Maria likes to talk on the phone. They're from Philly, so of course we have to see them running up the steps like Rocky. They'll be doing the paso doble, although they are dressed very disco-like. It's kind of weird because they both look very mature, so instead of kids, they seem like slightly smaller adults. Like Helio or Drew Lachey. If they have to do this, I kind of like it better when they're really little kids, because then at least it's cute and something different. Carrie Ann is blown away, and she thinks Mitchell is a great lead. Len liked their shapes. Bruno thought it was very sophisticated.

Backstage, Samantha asks Alisa which celebrity she would dance with, and before she can answer, Cloris pops in and the kids say that they would dance with Cloris. She won't sit down. Doesn't she have a handler somewhere? Maria says she would dance with Michael Phelps and Mitchell says he'd dance with Julianne. Samantha goes, "OooooOOOOOOOooooooh," like way to humiliate the kid, Samantha. The judges reveal their decision and the winners are Mitchell and Maria, so they will continue on in the competition.

Before we see this crazy routine they've been teasing all night, we have to hear the backstory. The choreographers have worked with Madonna and Chris Brown, and tonight, they'll be doing something called Dancing Through the Decades. They hope to represent many American styles of dancing. The sets will be -- wait for it -- elaborate. Are people really interested in this behind-the-scenes stuff? Because it's so general, and basically, they just keep talking about how elaborate it will be. Show, don't tell! This is like watching the Making Of... special before you've actually seen the show. It doesn't make sense. Finally, Tom and Samantha introduce the routine and here it is:

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Dancing With The Stars

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