Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 1267 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Literally On Fire

Simon and Lucy are both thirteen. Simon had to be bribed to start dancing, but now he loves it. Lucy also does ballet. They are adorable. Simon thinks no one knows he's a dancer at school, but Lucy points out that they do now. They look like such normal kids, and they've only been dancing for a year and a half, but they won nationals this year. So they're doing the samba. Simon's got some weird moves. There's something not quite right about them. It's probably one of those deals where they're both growing and changing and so their dancing hasn't quite caught up with their bodies or something. Lucy looks decent, but Simon is freaking me out. He's like a tiny James Spader. Carrie Ann thought they had a lot of charisma and energy. Michael doesn't really say anything but seems to imply that they'll be going home. Bruno loves Lucy's extensions. I feel like they agree with me that there's something weird about Simon's dancing.

So now the kids are backstage. Will Cloris molest them again? I don't know why they let Samantha interview these kids. Here's what's annoying if you have HD. Lacey is sitting almost out of frame and she has such a bitchface on while the kids are talking. Even Warren is smiling at the cute kids, Lacey. Get the stick out of your ass. So now we find out who's moving on. All three vote for Craig and Samantha. Wow, they usually at least throw one vote to the losing couple. Man, that is cringe-inducing.

The Pussycat Dolls are "performing" now. I don't really understand this group. Weren't they a group of strippers...I mean, burlesque performers? How did I miss the part where they became singers as well? And isn't Robin Antin in charge of them? Because I don't like her or her stupid brother. But then Missy Elliot comes out, and I kind of love her. I loved her chubby and I love her skinny and with her Doritos and everything. She's on stage for far too short of a time. And then they put a weird effect on the singer's voice and it sounds stupid. Like she's in an echo chamber but also in outer space. Luckily, the song is then over. BOOO-RRRING!

Dancing With The Stars

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