Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
Hit the Road, Jack

Maurice is up next. Len loves that Maurice attacks his dances. Kenny takes the opportunity to rip on Jerry for being old and slow while Maurice has retained his speed. Then they make fun of Maurice for blowing a kiss to Len in a previous dance, which Len says that he liked. Anyway, more from them later.

Time for a guest dance about MAGIC. There's a lot of smoke on the dance floor. No, like a LOT of smoke. Except not enough that you can't see the smoke machines. Oops. I don't think that was supposed to happen. After some dude dressed like a magician does some moves, a bunch of ladies come out and swallow swords? While dancing? Then a contortionist contorts before four male dancers appear and do something. I don't really understand this dance. It kind of sucks -- I mean, compared to those flamenco dancers. Am I right? They wore way fewer clothes! And stomped really well! Anyway, this one kind of feels like a varsity cheerleading routine, which would seem really clever when you were making it up, but in execution is not all that great. They needed Gob Bluth to spice things up.

Back for more DanceCenter! Next up is Lance Bass, who Kenny reminds us is named after a fish. Len thinks that Lance needs to work on his technique. Kenny thinks Lance and Lacey are starting to look and act alike, and they should just change their names to Lancey. Kenny wonders if Lance, who trained in Russia as a cosmonaut, should be branded a communist and sent packing. They clearly are avoiding making any gay jokes here, which is probably wise, but man, are there so many other areas to rip on Lance about, and they kind of missed all of them.

Brooke gets called up next. Kenny reminds us that she's super-fertile, having "20, 30 children." They show some footage of Brooke on the beach, and the guys kind of goggle at her for a while. Len thinks Brooke is consistently fantastic. Kenny doesn't like Brooke's hyperextended legs, and decides to renounce his earlier declarations of her hotness. They are pretty gross.

Last up is Cody, who Kenny says is not even a man yet. Len thinks Cody is cute, and Kenny tells him to criticize him. Kenny points out that Cody has big eyebrows, and we see footage of Cody in rehearsal explaining that there are websites devoted to his eyebrows. I almost want to go see those, but I just can't. It would be too depressing. Len criticizes Cody's arm position in hold, and Kenny starts chiming in, so Len yells at Kenny, since he knows nothing about dance and got kicked off the first week of his season.

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Dancing With The Stars




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