Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
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Hazardous To Your Health

Nathan Fillion is in the audience! Is it sad that I could pick him out in a quick pan across the front row? Tom and Samantha welcome us, and I think their mikes are messed up or the audience sound is turned up way too loud, because I can barely hear them. They introduce the couples and... Lacey's alone? Did Steve-O's injuries do him in? I guess we'll find out. Cheryl also has a little bobble as she's walking down the stairs, and I thought she was going to bite it and add to the injured reserve list. Once everyone is in place, Tom announces that Steve-O was injured earlier today, and we'll hear more about that later. Since it's been a whole week since this show has aired, Samantha reminds us that Melissa and Gilles rocketed to the top while Woz sunk to the bottom. I really like Samantha's dress tonight. It's midnight blue and sort of sleek and simple. It looks great with her coloring.

First up tonight is Holly Madison. (It seems weird to call her just Holly, and how dumb am I that I just noticed that her name sounds just like Dolly Madison? Remember those snack cakes? With the Peanuts characters in the ads? Just me?) She had very little time to prepare last week, since she stepped in for the injured Jewel. This week she and Dmitry are doing the quickstep. As he explains the dance, Holly slowly slides into a split for no apparent reason and then plops onto the floor like a little kid. And then does her annoying rat-a-tat-tat laugh. And then there's a really dumb part where she plays "20 Questions" to get to know her partner, and who cares? She's not long for this show, so why get invested? Their quickstep starts out fairly strong. It helps that Holly is wearing a long dress so you can't see her legs, which were a problem last week. After the first pass or so, she kind of loses the plot, and you can see it in her face and posture. She doesn't totally screw up, but the rest of the routine is off. Her posture is good, but her shoulders and arms and neck are too tense and stiff.

Tom says he's happy to see that Holly is one of the few uninjured stars so far. Wow, he really had nothing to say to her. Len starts out by saying that the quickstep is tough, and she did a good job mostly, but her posture needed work with her bust and butt sticking out. Gee, wonder why? Bruno agrees, and adds that she seemed a few steps behind the entire time and trying to catch up. Carrie Ann thinks she looked like she was being dragged around like a doll most of the time. Agreed, judges. Holly does that annoying nervous giggle the whole time they're talking. I swear, once you hear it, you won't be able to unhear it. She does it constantly. I just mentioned it to my husband and he had totally noticed it as well. It sort of sounds like a car trying to start, two blocks away. Scores: Carrie Ann 6, Len 6 and Bruno 6.

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Dancing With The Stars

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