Dancing With The Stars

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Second Place is First Loser

Tom jokes about how fast LT wanted to get out of there after he was eliminated, but he did manage to make time to come back and dance the jive again. I kind of would have loved to see an LT freestyle. The man can move. He's just not ballroom material, but he would be a lot of fun at a wedding reception. It doesn't seem like he's spent much time rehearsing this routine, but he gets through it because he's totally into the music. Afterwards, Tom jokes with LT about how hard it must be for him to give up dancing. Then I don't know what just happened but LT said something and everyone kind of got shocked and quiet and then they threw to another clip package.

Chuck and Julianne return to do their samba. I notice that the dancers who made it a little further get to do a whole routine. I'm fine with that. The more dancing on a dancing show, the better. Chuck is still crazy pigeon-toed. I don't think these two have rehearsed much since the show ended either -- Chuck looks a little confused out there and Julianne is almost openly laughing at him. Samantha asks Chuck if the competition has changed him at all, and Chuck says he has a new respect for satin and glitter and thongs. Then they waste some time until Tom finally steps in and gets things back on track.

Jeff Ross, the Roastmaster General, is on hand to roast this season's contestants. Man, that's a tough gig. What's he going to say about Shawn? I'm not going to repeat all of his jokes, just his best lines. He refers to the three judges as "Smoking, Croaking, and Flaming." Awesome. He jokes to the finalists that they're not celebrities, and the show has turned into "Dancing with the Vaguely Familiar." Ross moves on to discuss Gilles and his role in "Sex and the City": "You may not have had the biggest role, but you definitely had the largest part." He tells Shawn that she's too short to ride on Space Mountain. Then he makes some jokes about Melissa coming in second again. Hey, he could have been WAY meaner. That was actually really tame. I don't know if roast, especially a Jeff Ross roast, really fits with this show, but I appreciate the effort at actual humor.

Lil Kim and Derek are back to do their jailhouse jive. I just saw today that Chace Crawford was cast in Footloose, and I really wish that Derek had gotten the role. I know they need more name recognition, but Derek would have been amazing. And it's not like Kevin Bacon was a household name when the first movie came out. I mean, can Chace Crawford sing or dance? Tom admits that he thought Lil Kim would make it to the finals. He hearts her.

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Dancing With The Stars

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