Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Perfection

So how's their actual dance, as if it matters towards his ability to stay for another week? God bless Karina, as she's practically naked to try to draw attention away from Woz's horrible posture and lack of footwork. They do some fairly complicated tricks and lifts, so I'll begrudgingly give them points for that part. But the whole routine sucks. Again, not that it matters.

Carrie Ann knows that Woz is "the ultimate underdog," but there wasn't much going on in their routine and there was no passion. Len is pleased that they tried a proper tango, and he admires his spirit and improvement over last week. Bruno thought it really stunk and then Woz totally rips on Bruno for his role in Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" video. I don't know if anyone will pick up on that other than big fans -- I bet they'll think Woz was just showing pluck. But it was actually a rip. Woz claims that he nailed his angry face. I don't know if he understands what passion is. Do you think he has sex? I don't think he has sex. He might be asexual. I find that comforting. Scores: Carrie Ann 4, Len 4, and Bruno 4. Well, it's higher than last week.

Melissa and Tony were criticized for having something missing last week. In rehearsal, they have a great time. I've never seen Tony laugh so much, ever. He must be so happy to finally have a decent partner. At one point, they are practicing a flip where Melissa dives onto Tony's back face-down, and then flips over and comes back up through his legs. She cuts it a bit short and ends up with her face in his balls, like he's totally teabagging her. This is the family hour! Filthy! Also, probably sweaty. I'm just saying. You know you were thinking it. They work on some more tricks, some of which are working and some of which are not. Melissa hopes that they can stay on top with this routine. So can they? Well, their routine is great. Melissa has great rhythm and the tricks go really smoothly. The one thing that bugs me throughout is that she doesn't flick her foot on her kicks. They worked on it in rehearsal; Tony put a piece of toilet paper on her shoe and told her to flick her foot like she was trying to get it off. And then in the routine, she doesn't do it. And not just in one part -- throughout the whole routine. Once you notice it, it's really annoying. I wonder if any of the judges will mention it. Other than that, the routine is kind of flawless. Maybe some of the tricks could be more smoothly, but for an amateur, it's great.

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Dancing With The Stars

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