Dancing With The Stars

Episode Report Card
Kim: B | Grade It Now!
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Jailhouse Rock

Lil Kim and Derek's intro gets cut off by a local news update, but I quickly pick up that Kim and Derek are getting along really well. Derek hopes to knock Gilles off the top spot by adding more "flavor" but Kim has trouble getting into character. So they go to a '50s diner. Please. She's never watched Happy Days or whatever? Derek dances with some female baby boomers to show Kim how it's done. Okay. So. Their routine is to "Jailhouse Rock." And Kim, the ex-con, who dedicated her first routine to her girls in the Correctional Facility, is dressed as a prison guard while Derek is an Elvis-style prisoner trying to break out. I mean, it's a great routine. But I can't decide if the whole metaness of it is awesome or distasteful. I think I'm going with awesome. That is balls-y. And Lil Kim is nothing if not ballsy. I just don't know how it will fly with the voters. Anyway, the routine is really great and exciting, with a few glitches in the middle where Kim misses a step. But overall, it's quite the amazing performance with some great choreography by Derek as usual.

The audience loves it, cheering loud and long. Bruno tells Kim to arrest him and frisk him because he's guilty of loving her routine. Carrie Ann stands up and screams and says it was amazing. Len loved the energy but thought the vamping around for the story meant that some of the jive went missing. Len was missing the actual dance content. Scores: Carrie Ann 10, Len 8, and Bruno 10. Wow, Len wasn't kidding when he said he was missing the jive content. I think Samantha just called him a poopy head. Seriously. She's been spending too much time with her baby.

I kind of forgot Steve-O was still on the show. Last week, he got super low scores but didn't even end up in the bottom two. This week, he has the rumba, and Lacey says that they have to create romantic chemistry since they have a brother-sister relationship. During rehearsal, Steve-O picks his nose, itches his butt, and he farts. For some reason, it makes me laugh when she says it smells like mildew. What can I say? I'm easy. Lacey lets Steve-O bring his little dog in, and he has more love for his dog than he ever did for Lacey. So can he pull it off? You know what Steve-O's biggest problem is in this routine? His hand positions. He keeps his hand flat and it contributes to him looking stiff and uncoordinated, when his body movements are actually not that bad. He's got his chest out and he does a decent job acting out the "story" of the dance. I mean, it's not great, but if he could just get those hand positions right, I think it would be a lot better. That said, Steve-O kind of just walked through that routine instead of dancing it.

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Dancing With The Stars

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